March 17, 2022. The day my life changed forever.

All throughout my pregnancy I was ill, whether it was nausea, heartburn, pubis symphis issues, or an overall sense of feeling unwell. It seemed that every week a new “fun” pregnancy symptom would rear its head making the experience all the more unpleasant. In mid-February, a new symptom that I didn’t think much of began to plague me which was swollen feet. The OB Gyn and nurse practitioner who saw me every other week for weeks were aware of it, but swelling is so common during 3rd trimester that it didn’t occur to them or myself to worry about it. As the weeks passed on, my swelling became more pronounced and there really was not much I could do to alleviate it. My husband, Mike, got me some leg and feet compression booties that helped, but the minute I took them off, the swelling returned. On March 10 th I had an OB appointment as usual, my blood pressure was the same as it always is about
120/80. My doctor was speaking to me about my upcoming C-section that was scheduled for April 11th at 37 weeks and that I was looking great and should experience no issues between now and April 11th . Over the course of the weekend, I began to feel unwell, but I was usually unwell, so this didn’t really alarm me. On Monday, March 14 th I remember waking up with an incredible headache, upper back pain, and what felt like chest pain that was muscular. The pain was so severe that I could not get back in bed to go to sleep. I called out of work this day and slept most of the day. I just thought perhaps this is how the third trimester is going to be…feeling awful and sleeping most of the day. The following two days were
uneventful, and I gave no thought to what I had experienced on Monday. Thursday, March 17 th at around 2am the symptoms from Monday were back with a force that I cannot put to words. The headache I had was the worst I had felt ever – nothing I did to alleviate the pain would work. I began to feel desperate for any feeling of relief I could get. Hours went by that morning and the pain continued to grow in intensity.

At one point throughout this morning, the thought of preeclampsia had crossed my mind, but I didn’t want to believe it could happen to me. I remember my husband leaving for work that morning and asking me if he needed to stay home. I tried to be strong and told him to go to work – that I would let
him know if I needed him to come home. I recall grabbing my Apple Watch to see if there was a way that I could measure my heart rate because after the second round of taking Tylenol, I was still not feeling any sort of relief. My anxiety was growing rapidly by this point. By 9AM that morning I was thinking there was no way I could work with this headache, but since I had already called out sick on Monday, I didn’t want to get myself in any trouble, I just kept attempting to work. I opened my laptop around 9:15am and all I can remember is having difficulty even understanding an email I was trying to read. I had brought by work laptop to bed in hopes that by some miracle I would start to feel better. At some
point I messaged my coworker and let her know what was happening and I apologized if my responses were delayed. I could barely read or type at this point.

I started feeling so worried that I tried to find the number to my OB GYN’s office and I could barely see what I was doing. Apparently, I called the wrong doctor’s office because they called me back an hour later and said they had no record of who I was. This is the point at which I realized something was seriously wrong. My vision was so blurry, and the headache was so intense that I could barely see my phone. By some miracle, I was able to get the phone number to the correct doctor’s office and left a message on the nurse line. I went to sit on the living room couch and I remember my dog Nutter Butter was there sitting next to me. I just held onto him feeling so terrified – it was the first time in my life I was actually scared for my life. I had never felt this sick and delirious in 39 years. My vision was blacking out and I could not focus on anything specifically and my head felt as if someone was taking an ax to the back and
sides of my skull. I grabbed my phone again and tried to call my husband. All I could do was tap the phone screen with my fingers and the palm of my hand hoping it would somehow call him because I couldn’t see what I was doing. I just couldn’t understand what was going on with me. It’s like my brain couldn’t figure out how to make a phone call. Again, by some miracle I somehow was able to dial my husband at work. I will add that I had also somehow texted him a few minutes prior telling him I was not feeling well and needed to go to the emergency room. When Mike answered the phone, I remember saying that I hadn’t heard from OB Gyn’s office and I needed to go to the ER and to please let his mother know what was going on. Mike’s mom lives 19 miles from us so maybe she could come help me. Once we hung up, I remember shaking. I held my dog for an undetermined amount of time…I do not remember anything that happened at this point but I somehow ended up on the second floor of our house in our office.

I’m not sure if you have ever heard of a “life review” but at some point between sitting on the couch in my living room and walking up to the second floor of our house, I must have had a seizure and saw visions of my life. I saw myself in middle school playing clarinet in the school band. I saw myself in highschool in history class thinking if I should take the exam for AP college credit or not. I remember meeting Mike in college. I saw my dog, Papo, who ran away when I was 7 years old. While I was having these visions, it felt to me as if someone was there with me, almost guiding me through these memories. And then in an abrupt moment, I could feel my mother-in-law standing in the office of our house. I asked her if I was dead because I was certain that she could not see me for some reason. Luckily, she responded back to me and told me that I wasn’t dead. She helped me down the stairs of our house. I remember feeling her grabbing my arm but I could not physically see her. In her voice, I heard a worrisome tone that made my anxiety spike. Intuitively, I knew something was seriously wrong, but I could not figure out what. I remember her taking me outside to her car and then my husband Mike showed up shortly after. He jumped into the back seat of my mother-in-law’s car and I could not see him and for some reason I couldn’t figure out who he was. He began talking to me and I told him that I didn’t know who he was. The drive from our house to UNC hospital in Chapel Hill was a blur. I thew up out of the window (and I forgot to mention this was the third or fourth time I had vomited that morning). I received a call back from the OB GYN’s office finally and when I told the nurse what was happening she was glad I was on the way to the hospital. My family and the nurse’s voice sounded so scary to me. I just wanted to feel better because I was making everyone scared and I didn’t want them to be scared.

(For Part Two of this story, please click here)