It was my first pregnancy. I had a due date of March 17th, our little lucky charm, we were so excited. At 24 weeks in my pregnancy, my blood pressure abruptly rose, and I was started on blood pressure medication and had to monitor my blood pressure at home on a daily basis. Even with medication, my blood pressure remained elevated when checked at home. At 26 weeks, MFM had called and asked me to come into labor and deliver to retest for preeclampsia. I was told that I just needed to come in to do a few blood tests and then I could return back home. Well, that is not what happened. I was admitted for observation due to my elevated blood pressure, and my labs came back with elevated protein in my urine.

Despite multiple IV pushes of medication, my blood pressure would not stabilize. I was told I needed to be transferred to a different hospital over an hour away given the need for higher-level NICU care in the event of early delivery. Once I arrived, I was advised once my blood pressure is stabilized, I would be transferred to antepartum and would need to stay until a delivery no later than 34 weeks. The doctors also discussed that they may recommend earlier delivery if non-reassuring fetal status, inability to control blood pressure, or evidence of organ damage. At this point, there was so much information, I didn't know how to process it. I realized I wasn't returning back home as I was told earlier. It felt like my pregnancy was robbed and I was only 26 weeks, I was supposed to experience so much more of my pregnancy outside of these hospital walls.

4 weeks went by with having continuous monitoring and inpatient management, I don't think my arm could withstand another blood draw. On January 11th, 30 weeks & 5 days pregnant, after a few days of my labs slowly trending downwards, I had felt something I had never felt before and saw something I had never seen before. My placenta had abrupted and I was immediately transferred to labor and delivery. When I first arrived, they advised they would induce me and we would have a vaginal birth (I wasn't sure how that was going to be possible at this time, but I trusted the doctors I built a close relationship with over these past 4 weeks). Shortly after that decision was made, my son's heart rate started to decelerate. It was then I was told I required an emergency c-section under general anesthesia. All I could think about was if my son was going to be okay. I wanted them to put me asleep so this could all be over. Once I awoke, I had to beg to have the nurse take me to see my son in the NICU. I was so out of it at that time, and lost so much blood, I hardly remember first getting to see him. Rather than going to the post-partum floor after delivery, I was transferred to the intermediate medical unit, where I could not get out of my hospital bed for 2 days (which included not being able to see my son), and received 3 blood transfusions. Thankfully, my husband was with me every step of this journey and was able to be there for our son when I couldn't be. After a long 70 day NICU stay, we were finally able to bring Liam home. That day was the best day of our lives.

Although my son is happy and healthy today, I'm still grieving my pregnancy and everything I had experienced. It's hard not to think about all the things I missed out on. It's something you really don't think will happen to you, until it does. In sharing my story, I hope to raise awareness and help make others not feel alone.