Or you could have had a placental abruption and your son been stillborn before they could get him out- we have a person in our support group who abrupted and lost her daughter with her doctor right there. Sometimes it isn't a question of risking you vs. your son. You are both very much at risk and it can get very ugly, very quickly. We have some members here with similar stories. Too early vs. too late is a very fine line and you don't necessarily have a lot of warning or time before the situation can progress to "too late".I have asked for all of my records multiple times, I have gotten a lot of them but not all. And can't seem to get any lab reports.
I know that generally that the outcomes are 'better' for mom for early delivery, but personally I would have rather risked my health than my son's. He was obviously born too early even though officially it was 37 weeks and spent a week in the nicu. I know it is about 'balance' but for me the whole nicu experience left me with ptsd. I would never willing put a child at risk of a nicu stay again. I know my experience does differ than a lot of other peoples' experiences and I know that many people are just happy to have survived, but for me that it not enough.I know that my SIL had a very good nicu experience considering they had 28 weekers. It is so hard knowing that watchful waiting could have possibly kept him out of the nicu or at least given him some more time to develop so he didn't end up there for as long or with as many 'issues' that he did.
DS was born at 36 wks and never spent a minute in the NICU- he roomed in with us and has had no issues, our pediatrician doesn't even consider him a preemie. Not many 37 weekers need the NICU. I am sorry that your son did and that it was a traumatic experience for you. Still, I'd take a traumatic nicu experience over visiting our daughter's grave any day.
All that being said, I think questioning what happened, the decisions made, etc. is natural after the trauma of preeclampsia. I definitely did it.