We've made our decision...

flori · Postby **flori** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 07:36 pm

I agree with everyone, it is very brave of you to come to such a decision and thank you for sharing. My husband and I are also going to try again, largely due to losing Gracie. Had she survived, I think I would be happy with

one as well.

We have agreed that if the worse happens again we will be done and look into surrogacy and/or adoption. Sometimes I feel robbed out of the experience of having a big family with lots of children. I was at Target recently and the family in line behind my husband and me had 5 young kids. I was so jealous. How can it be so easy for some but so difficult for others?

holly3372@msn.com · Postby **holly3372@msn.com** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 06:29 pm

Libby,
Thank you for sharing. I know this was not easy to decide. I am not in your exact situation but I know in my heart I would do the same if I were. We are going to try again after having pre-e only because we lost our only son after 4 months in the NICU. I ask for one healthy child in this lifetime...one and done. I am also 39 years old now so time is not on my side. After this if we are blessed enough to have a take home baby and want more we will look into foster/adoption.
Again,thank you for sharing I truly feel your decision was selfless and true. Sending love to you and your beautiful family xo

lornarose · Postby **lornarose** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 02:01 pm

Dear Libby
Thankyou for posting your decision. I find your comments very interesting and helpful. I have still not decided yet whether I am going to go through the worry of PE again. I, like you, have a healthy daughter and I am very grateful for her. I also worry how I would cope with a complicated pregnancy especially when I have my little girl to factor into the equation now. My sister, who did not get PE has decided to have just one baby due to an emergency c section and a wound that subsequently became infected. She is terrified of another c section. I do think that a lot of women are 'done with one' due to traumatic birth experiences, not just PE women.Today, I am 80/20 in favour of being 'done at one' but this changes all the time. I have given myself until January of next year to finalise my decision. The door will close then and will not re-open. I commend you on your honesty and also for posting your most private inner thoughts. I wish you and DH many years of happiness with your precious little girl.

uncskristy · Postby **uncskristy** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 04:23 am

I know that was a difficult decision to make. And Kudos to you for taking everything into consideration

libby123 · Postby **libby123** » Fri Jun 24, 2011 08:01 pm

This decision has been agonizing, but after weighing the pros and cons, we have come to a decision:
We are "one and done". We aren't going to conceive again, I will not be pregnant again.

Here is why:
1.)We luckily came through our first pregnancy okay with the pre-e, and we HAVE a healthy daughter. We have our baby.
2.) Knowing the risks of getting pre-e again, I don't want to risk the chance of leaving my daughter without a mommy or by negatively affecting her by being on bedrest for months on end like I was before. My husband works 16 hours a day and relies on me to care for her, if I couldn't, our family unit would suffer greatly.
3.) I don't want to risk my health.

However we also had many cons:
1.) Our daughter will grow up without siblings and will not have siblings to support her when she is older.
2.) My husband will never have a son.
3.) We will always feel like our family is "unfinished" in a way, we had always dreamed of having 2.

But the pros won out, and we aren't going to conceive again. I will still hang out here on the boards and support those of you who are going to try again! Thank you for your support