Need to vent

Are you part of the NICU club? Do you have a child who is still struggling with the effects of being born too soon from preeclampsia? Share your concerns and stories here among parents who have been there.
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Re : Need to vent

Postby chubbiesmom » Sat Oct 08, 638603 3:04 am

Today has been a frustrating day. They mentioned yesterday possibly testing him to see if they could pull him off the vent today but the doctor said they wouldn't even consider that until monday or tuesday now. I know not to get excited about things until they happen, but I really was hoping for this today.

They changed him to a different type of vent setting today. It makes him do more work. So ever since they changed him, he's been having desats of his oxygen even into the 70s. I was so mad last night and today, 2 nurses have been messing around doing things for him and knocked his vent tube off. I know they put it right back on, but it made me mad they could be so careless. One nurse even tripped on his chest tube agghh.

My dh is trying to keep me calm, but he's my little guy and I have every right to be pissed.

Have any of you gotten tired of visitors?? I love the people that have come to see him, but I'm in no mood for jokes or sarcasim. I just have no tolerance for anything. I'm tired of hearing he's going to be up all the time when you get him home. Hello, do you actually think I care that I have to get up and take care of my sweet little boy.

Sorry for the grumpiness, just having a bad day.

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Re : Need to vent

Postby annoited » Fri Oct 07, 638603 5:06 am

I'm so sorry Michelle, this must be so scary for you... Chase is def in my prayers. You are a woman of faith, please hold on to your faith... we can move moutains with a faith as small as a mustard seed. Oh! reading your post is hard enough for me, i cant imagine what is going through your mind. Pls continue to stay strong for the family..I pray Chase gets better sooner than we all expect (((HUGS)))

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Re : Need to vent

Postby fiona » Mon Sep 26, 638603 10:30 am


what a nightmare you are in - I am so sorry. Please know we are all thinking about you and your family. Many hugs.

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Re : Need to vent

Postby chubbiesmom » Mon Sep 26, 638603 12:34 am

Thank you girls for responding. I use my drive everyday or shower time to cry. I want to try to be strong for my dh and other kids. The chaplan comes and visits us everyday which is very helpful. My dh is not a religious person even though I am. I told him I don't care what he thinks, our little guy needs all the help he can get.

I went to the store before I came to the hospital today and got him presents for his 3 week birthday. No other baby of mine would I have celebrated a 3 week birthday. I'm just so happy for him to made it this far. I looked at little clothes and almost started to cry in the store. I didn't buy them. I didn't want to jinx anything and was scared if I bought them I would never see my sweet little boy in them.

I had posted about my son over in my expecting club, but felt like I was being a downer with all the new babies being born and anxious mom's waiting for their babies and felt my posts would scare them. It's nice to have other moms that know exactly what you are going thru with the good and bad too.

Thanks again


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Re : Need to vent

Postby jacobkaden » Sun Sep 25, 638603 9:16 pm

Ah, Michelle. I have had more scenes than I care to remember like that with my Jacob - ugh! If you have a faith of any kind, cling to that right now. Most importantly, get the support you need. I used the NICU social worker, plus family and friends. DH and I leaned on each other when we could, but there were times when we were both "in the zone" and couldn't be much support to each other. Good luck! The good news is Chase is a good size and has proven to be a "fighter". Hugs and Prayers.

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Re : Need to vent

Postby catherine » Sun Sep 25, 638603 3:31 pm

Michelle, I can empathize with you. Chloe my last was born at 35+6. The usual peanut, 5 lbs and a couple of oz. No preeclampsia and we took her home two days later. I was so relieved and happy. Then about 3 weeks later she ran a fever and I brought her to the hospital. The full court press ensued, chest x-ray, lumbar puncture, blood draws, IVs etc. to rule out menigitis. I was fortunate, she turned out to have a little viral thing.. but I was a wreck. So I can only begin to imagine all the strain that you are under.. especially if you are the one on the spot when the big things happen. I know that DH may not be the right person to talk to... because it is so very hard to share these huge worries and concerns for fear of fracturing the composure that you are both clinging to. However, there are people at the hospital whose job is to help you hold it all together, the chaplins are one excellent resource... regardless of their specific faith, these folks are trained and expert. There are social workers etc. who can help you find the resources that you need to cope, be that the support of other parents etc. Don't hesitate to reach out and seek support right there.

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Re : Need to vent

Postby onesock » Sun Sep 25, 638603 1:32 pm

I replied to your other post too, but big HUGS to you. I imagine that was terribly scary for you and I am so glad you came here to vent, sometimes talking about it and getting it out is so helpful. Sending you my best, hugs and prayers.

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Re : Need to vent

Postby jenn » Sun Sep 25, 638603 10:38 am

Michelle! (( HUGS! )) My thoughts and prayers are with you guys. What a terribly scary event!
If you need to cry everyday- DO IT! You've been through a very traumatic event and those emotions need a place to go.
I realize your going through A LOT right now. But make sure to take some YOU TIME ie: bubble bath, stop in a Starbucks for a coffee or hit up a bakery for a yummy brownie! YUM! etc. and most of all get some good rest at night.
We're all here for you! Please be sure to pop in and share an update as you can. I'll be thinking of you guys!
Much love, Jenn

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Re : Need to vent

Postby hols537 » Sun Sep 25, 638603 7:20 am

I'm so sorry your little guy is going through such a rough time. No parent should ever have to see their child in such a state! It's an image that you will probably never get out of your head and the emotions tied to it will remain strong for a long time - I still flash back to NICU days. I think you will find lots of great support from this group. Thoughts and prayers for you both for a quick recovery.

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Re : Need to vent

Postby amanda » Sun Sep 25, 638603 7:19 am

Michelle - what a frightening thing to go through - I am just SO sorry. Many of us on the board have had to go through trammas like that and that is exactly what it is, it's a tramma - no one wants or expects to go through it. When Anna Grace was in the NICU they had someone that came around to talk - do they have someone in your NICU that you could meet with and talk?

I posted on the other board but I hope that Chase gets better soon!

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