Angry, numb and confused - UPDATE

[annes]

Oh Denise, my heart is breaking for you. You have been through so much, this really seems so unfair. Take care of yourself, we are here for you.

[neslo]

Denise - I'm so sorry to read this... I was just wondering about how you were doing. I know how hard you worked to get pregnant again. I'm so sorry!

[jules2]

I am really sorry to hear this. I don't have any advice as never had a miscarriage or D&C.

Best wishes

[lisainnj]

Oh - my MFM said it was better to wait two or three cycles before ttc - better quality eggs. For what it's worth, the first miscarriage came when I conceived with the first ovulation after 8 months non-ovulatory, and the second when I conceived the first cycle after the first loss.

[lisainnj]

I've done both D&C and natural after missed miscarriage - it's easier to get testing done if you have the D&C. If you want to bury the baby, it's easier to go natural. You can still bring in the placenta for testing. Physically neither was hard on me, but I know women who've cramped badly. The waiting for the natural loss - it took about five days after the u/s, but she'd been dead two weeks before that. Some people think they couldn't endure that but to me, I was just holding her a little longer.

When I had the D&C, next time, so we could have testing done, I had general anesthesia. I did not want to feel or remember them scraping her from my body.

Emotionally - whatever makes it a little easier to bear, for you. I am so sorry for your loss.

[pixie323]

Hi Denise,

I'm sooo sorry to hear your news.

I can't tell you about a D&C.. I've never had one, but I have had two natural m/c... one at 8wks and the other at 10wks. Mine weren't too bad, but it took a few weeks until they happened after I knew that they had passed away. Depending on how fast you want it over is definitely something to consider. With my first m/c I just wanted it over.... with my second m/c, even though the baby had passed away, I loved the thought that it was still with me (it was during my daughters first angel day/birthday), so I needed that baby to stay with me through that time.

What ever you decide good luck and big big hugs!!

[jenndola]

Like Kim and Frasiah, I opted for a D&C when I miscarried at 14 weeks. I felt like I couldn't possibly begin any sort of emotional healing process without it and I also wanted to cling to what little I could still control, if that makes any sense.

Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one for you. E-mail me if you have any questions about the whole process.

And even though it doesn't change a **** thing...I'm so very, very sorry.

[jamie w]

I am so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kbunsey]

Denise, I don't have any advice either. I am very sorry for your loss and heartache. XO Katie

[lisacarmel]

I don't have any advice but am so sorry for your loss.