The Holidays are coming....

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re : The Holidays are coming....

Postby hmoore » Tue Nov 21, 2006 04:22 pm

I am so sorry T. Your post just bought me to tears! I wish I lived near you because I would come over and give you a big hug. Please know that I am thinking of you and your family I hope that the holidays will bring you some sort of peace. Many hugs!

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Re : The Holidays are coming....

Postby twolfgram » Sun Nov 19, 2006 10:05 pm

I'm right there with you, Tracy! Erik was born asleep on Dec 20. The day before we were to celebrate Christmas with my family. We did anyway, but it wasn't the same, as my brother and his wife had had a little girl on Oct 30. Seeing my husband hold Marie was devastating for me. It makes me cry even now. I can't believe it's been almost 4 years, too. Last year I had a really hard time around the 20th, but am hoping this year will be easier. Hugs, as always!!

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Re : The Holidays are coming....

Postby angelkat » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:47 am

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and kind words.... Thinking I just might take a ride to St.Louis where Katlyne was born to have a pizza party with her Nurses who became family the night Kat was born.

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Re : The Holidays are coming....

Postby amaara » Thu Nov 16, 2006 11:56 pm

I am so sorry that you are going through this. We conceived Wyatt around this time last year. I can see the dates and such in my calendar. I remember shopping for pregnancy tests with Ellie this time last year-- Dollar Store, here we come!

This time of the year is very hard.


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Re : The Holidays are coming....

Postby gilma » Thu Nov 16, 2006 10:27 pm

We're right there with you honey. The holidays are here.
Grayson's 1st Angel day is December 7. I sat with my family tonight planning a birthday/Christmas party for him where we'll do a bake sale and silent auction to benefit the PF. Now, everyone has gone home and all I can think is that this won't bring my boy back and I'd rather spend his birthday and all of the rest of the holidays hiding under the covers. I miss him so much.
I wish that I could wrap my arms around you and hug this hurt away. Instead I'll wish you much warmth and peace as the season wraps itself around us all. Know that we're here for you and with you.

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Re : The Holidays are coming....

Postby rosemary » Thu Nov 16, 2006 09:40 pm

T - my heart goes out to you. The holidays can be so very hard. I've been so insanely busy that I have hardly stopped to realize that Thanksgiving is next week. T - I wish you peace and you will be in my prayers.

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Re : The Holidays are coming....

Postby froggie89 » Thu Nov 16, 2006 09:11 pm


Your post has me in tears. I am sorry that the holidays are not the same for you or any of us anymore. It's a time of mixed emotions instead of happy and cheery ones.

I've been saying prayers for all of us that we have a peaceful holiday time. I'll keep saying those prayers and keeping everyone in thought.

Sending hugs to you T and to all the ladies on the G&L forum. Love to you all too.

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Re : The Holidays are coming....

Postby robertmyangel » Thu Nov 16, 2006 02:46 pm


Sending you many many big hugs, so sorry that you little girl could not be here in person to celebrate with you and the family. This will be our first Thanksgiving without our little boy, and I know it will be hard for ME. He was surpose to be celebrating his first Thanksgiving, and his first Christmas, and then New Years, but instead of celebrating I will be greiving for my son, wishing he was here in person not in spirit. Please know that many of us are feeling the same as you, and even though in time the pain is easier to bare, our hearts are still torn, and our futures are still forever changed. Please know that I am thinking of you, and sending my love to you and your family...

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Re : The Holidays are coming....

Postby josiah1112 » Thu Nov 16, 2006 12:36 am


Your post brought me to tears.The holidays will never be the same for me either.I know exactly how you feel.Grateful for what you have but missing that little miracle terribly.I remember going on that cruise right after Josiah died because my husband insisted we change scenery and all I wanted to do was crawl under a rock and die.As I watched people walking around on the vacation of their lives with their children and families I could not believe people could continueliving and being happy while my baby was gone.Sometimes I would just stare at them and every bone in my body wanted to climb on a bench and yell-Hey,my baby died!!!!!!!Sometimes when we were asked on the ship our reason for the cruise-anniversary;birthday;etc I would blurt out that we just lost our baby.I guess part of me could still not even believe the terrible tragedy.

You know I still have his ashes in an angel urn and do not want to take them anywhere because I do not want to move and leave him in another place geographically but that is another post for another day.

Jana- It seems like you have a wonderful plan.Good for you for thinking ahead and setting you and your husband to win.Baking cookies and giving contributions to other babies is awesome.I also send out a
donation to a special cause every year for Josiah's birthday.This year it was Max's foster family(in Guatemala's)child that got Josiah's memory gift.

Wishing you all peace and blessings.

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Re : The Holidays are coming....

Postby jana m » Thu Nov 16, 2006 10:20 am

I too am feeling really ambivalent about the holidays this year. Part of me wants to celebrate and be joyful because my girls really were the greatest gift I've ever been given. The other part of me is very much aware that they won't physically be with me. DH and I are staying home for thangksgiving, so I'm not too worried about that. We are still trying to figure out Christmas and may actually stay in a hotel instead of with family so that we have an escape if we need it.

The holidays were supposed to be all about our girls, so we are doing as much as we can to try and remember and honor them. I bought my MIL three engraved angel ornaments so our babies can be a part of her tree. Instead of gifts, we have asked our family to make donations in their name to the hospital where they were born. We are going to buy three toys and outfits that would have been age-appropriate for them and donate to a toy and clothing drive. We'll be attending two different candle-lighting ceremonies. I am going to bake cookies for anyone and everyone who took care of me or them.

I am hoping that doing all of these things will help us to find some peace during the holidays. Knowing that we are doing things to help others in our girls name makes us feel good and gives lots of value to their lives.

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