I'm coping....

So, the baby's born, what comes next? Discuss your postpartum and parenting concerns here.
annoited
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Re : I'm coping....

Postby annoited » Fri Apr 24, 2009 06:52 pm

Su i'm so sorry Samar is having such a rough time.. Isaiah has been a little colicky as well.. My sister from the UK got him enfacol, dont know if you know anything about enfacol... its very good and it has helped my baby so far!!!! U def need a break, i wish u had some help so you can get some rest as well. He'll get better not to worry ~ Hugs

annes
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Re : I'm coping....

Postby annes » Fri Apr 24, 2009 01:54 pm

Su, don't worry about the swing and the paci, he will be fine if you do not hold him every minute, you need a break, also. HUGS, you will get through this!!!

dolphinjen
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Re : I'm coping....

Postby dolphinjen » Fri Apr 24, 2009 11:41 am

Su, you are holding up well, you will look back at this as one of the most difficult periods of your life, and you're living it right now. It's such a helpless feeling watching your little one in so much distress. I think it was great you put him in the crib and just left him be for a while. Sometimes it seems that's all you can do.

I HIGHLY recommend the video (try and get it from the library, that's where we got the one we watched) Happiest Baby On The Block. It didn't STOP the crying completely, but it, and the book, (same title) gave me a completely new understanding what my baby was going through. (the author, Harvey Karp, explains it as the baby's 4th trimester, since babies are actually born prematurely in order to be able to exit mom's body. Also the video showsy you how to rock the baby. Just the description of it doesn't seem to be enough, seeing it really helps. Swaddling helped enormously, tightly.

How about driving around? Does Samar seem to respond to the vibratory motions of the car? That has helped a few friends of mine, especially if you can disengage your carseat while keeping him in.

Seriously, I'm not just saying this to make you feel better, I think you are handling this remarkably well, I am so glad to here updates, to know that you are okay! Please know we are all with you, even if it's virtually. Just do it one hour at a time, you and Q and Samar will get through this. And believe it or not, you may actually someday contemplate having another one. Isn't that almost impossible to imagine? Thank goodness for maternal amnesia...

amanda
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Re : I'm coping....

Postby amanda » Fri Apr 24, 2009 09:52 am

Su -
I'm a huge baby-wearing fan. Do you have sling or even a front pack. Sometimes just having the heat on their bellies helps too. I've also taken the car seat, sat them up, and put them on top of the dryer (while it's on and with supervision) - I swear that it's the white noise and motion that gets them to sleep.

Just a note, my kids (all of them) hated the swing - I think that they felt like they were flying around in the breeze - I never tried the swaddle though - that might have helped considerably. Also, make sure you swaddle tightly with Samar's arms inside. I didn't know that the first two times. *blush*

Finally, don't feel bad about changing the forumla - I did it too - I went from iron enriched to Nutrimigen (I know, expensive!) and never once looked back - I figured that my doc wasn't at home listening to my baby but I was so ugh!

I know it's hard to believe but it gets better!

missgamecock
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Re : I'm coping....

Postby missgamecock » Fri Apr 24, 2009 08:25 am

Kirsten had terrible colic and would scream from 11am to 11pm continuously. Another reason Sara and Kirsten were 6 years apart. SHE NEVER EVER SLEPT!!!! Then at 4 mos it went away. I don't know how I didn't lose my mind back then!

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jamie w
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Re : I'm coping....

Postby jamie w » Thu Apr 23, 2009 10:42 pm

Su,
I am so sorry you are having a rough time and that Samar is too. I second everything everyone else has said and would like to add that I am a HUGE fan of swaddling. It seemed the tighter I swaddled my kids the better they did and the less they screamed. If you aren't already I would suggest trying it, it bought us a few more hours of sleep. ((HUGS)) You will get through this!

mnmom
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Re : I'm coping....

Postby mnmom » Thu Apr 23, 2009 09:36 pm

Su. Hugs. My firstborn had horrible colic. One things that worked to soothe her was the sound of running water. Now, had I been smart, I would have found a cd(or I guess a tape cuz it was the 80's), but I would run the cold water in the bathroom, put her in the car seat on the floor and bring my pillow in there and sleep next to her. She also would quiet down if I turned on the dryer and put her car seat on top of it; holding onto it the entire time, of course. Ceiling fans also worked for awhile. Back then, I'm not even sure if there were many choices in formula, so that was never tried. And, they didn't have the magic gas drops they have now. I was creative by desperation.

You really, really will get through this. But, as others have said, you do need a break every now and again. Thinking of you!

suleaf
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Re : I'm coping....

Postby suleaf » Thu Apr 23, 2009 09:08 pm

THank you Heather.... I just hope I made the right choice in the formula. I feel soooo guilty after he said no. I am going to email you and ask about the doula tomorrow- I think my mom will stop in to help next week esp once Q gets back to work.... he seems calmer tonight than he has in days so maybe hte formula helped.... we will see.

Ugh. I was so scared of colic the whole time but I know... it will get better. It will get better.

Guest
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Re : I'm coping....

Postby Guest » Thu Apr 23, 2009 09:07 pm

Hi Su,

I remember how hard things were in the first few months with Megan. I am a single mom and I was living with my mom at the time which was an ENORMOUS help but I was still sooooo soooooo tired. We both were.

The white noise and exercise ball ideas are good. Also, I found walking around with her helped a lot. Do you own a car? Babies seem to love motion so if you are not too sleep deprived to drive, why not take him out for a 20 min car ride sometimes?

The other ideas are hiring a night nurse or a post partum doula. I am not sure what your finances are like but these may be options. The other option might be to ask a friend to come over and help once in a while so that you can get some much needed rest. Do you know anyone who could come over for a 4-5 hour shift sometimes? I am not necessarily going to suggest a family member :-) but it could be a neighbour, a friend, a local volunteer, etc.

Anyway, it is hard but it will DEFINITELY get better. Megan started sleeping through the night at around 4 months old. Which means that she slept for about 6 hours straight. Aaaaaahhhh.....pure heaven!!!

Good luck with it all sweetie. It seems like you have a great hubby so you guys need to really rely on one another and know that you will get through this together.


blythe
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Re : I'm coping....

Postby blythe » Thu Apr 23, 2009 09:02 pm

Good to hear from you, Su! Your instincts are good! A pediatrician who writes about colic suggests Swinging and Sucking(pacifier) as two of his five coping methods for colic - the other 3 are Swaddling, Shushing noises (like Julie suggested), and Side-lying/Stomach (in your arms, always put a baby on his back to sleep). Here's a link: http://www.colichelp.com/shop/happiestb ... block.html

I know Zantac was a big help for us, you might see if your pediatrician has considered reflux / GERD for a diagnosis...

The other thing I did was *not do the mommy thing alone*. I know you've got Q, but more than just the two of you are necessary at this point with a baby that cries that much! I'm going to be bossy and say that you need to get away for an hour or two, as often as you can - either to nap without guilt, or just get our of the house. A post-partum doula could help with that (I know I'm being pushy with that!), but so can a friend or people from work or church or wherever. (You, too, Mardi ;-D).

Hang in there! Let us know what your OB says tomorrow!


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