no more babies, how'd family respond?

So, the baby's born, what comes next? Discuss your postpartum and parenting concerns here.
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Re : no more babies, how'd family respond?

Postby jenndola » Fri Sep 05, 2008 01:49 pm

My husband is on the same page as Caryn's. I believe I had told my mother approximately 43 times that I was done before she actually looked at me and said, "What?" I believe it was some form of denial. She still takes great comfort in the fact that I haven't had my tubes tied (I have a Paragard IUD, which is good for 10 years), despite the fact that I continue to remind her that I'm done.

It's such a personal decision, and nobody can possibly know where you're coming from except for YOU. Remember that when you get the sighs and the looks--they aren't the ones currently risking life and limb to bring children into this world.

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Re : no more babies, how'd family respond?

Postby caryn » Fri Sep 05, 2008 01:28 pm

My DH refuses to weigh in on the grounds that I am running all the medical risk, and so I get the final call. (Although, if I get him drunk, he's sort of wistful.) My mom has suggested obliquely that I am way overthinking it and should just get knocked up already. My MIL has suggested that perhaps the fact that Oscar's hamster got loose and ate a pair of my maternity jeans is a "sign."

I'm 37. *sigh*

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Re : no more babies, how'd family respond?

Postby kara » Fri Sep 05, 2008 12:15 am

The Mirena is only for 5 years if that makes your MIL feel better! We fortunately haven't had any family members question us regarding more babies. Not the slightest word really. In fact, I think they will be surprised if we DO decide to have another, honestly. They saw what we've all been through, the NICU, the heart surgery, the occupational therapy, etc, etc. We'll probably get the other end of the spectrum with shock and horror if we do decide to have another. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I think having two kids is pretty standard. I'm not sure why any family members would be disappointed. It's your decision - period. And I think all four of your points are very solid.

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Re : no more babies, how'd family respond?

Postby hols537 » Fri Sep 05, 2008 08:36 am

We've made the same decision as amarah. My body really does not seem to tolerate pregnancy well and the stress of another high risk pregnancy is not something I want to go through. So, when they do my c/s for #2, I'm going to have my tubes tied. My family has been very supportive since they've also experienced a lot of worry during my pregnancies. My husband's family may not even know, but most importantly is DH is supportive. I'd always hoped for a little girl, but there's always adoption if we decide at some point we'd like more children. It's frustrating when people insert themselves into your personal decisions...good luck working through it.

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Re : no more babies, how'd family respond?

Postby amarah » Fri Sep 05, 2008 00:51 am

I chose to have my tubes tied after baby number 2. After having severe pe my first being left w/ chronic hypertension, and then making it through my 2nd pe free, I decided not to push my luck. Its really your decision, and when I told my family they were very supportive, I guess people have ahard time understanding when there not the ones going through it. Good luck

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no more babies, how'd family respond?

Postby halo79rn » Fri Sep 05, 2008 00:10 am

So dh would like more babies... but is ok not having more. Although he did wish for more beautiful babies for his birthday wish last week (my response, too bad you said it aloud). So I'm going on Wed and want to look into Mirena (dh says he thinks it's a good plan... I don't know why, but I feel I need his approval, even though I'm the one who would have to carry another baby, it's an "us" decision, ya know?). My mil's response.. a sad, pathetic sounding, "oh" then "... well that's only for 10 years right and it isn't permanent." Then I keep getting questions about having more I think b/c ds is about to have his first birthday and this is the time of dd's life that we found out we would be expecting our son. Um... are these people trying to torture me? a. none of your biz, people... b. I have two beautiful, healthy babies.... c. I don't think I can handle another pregnancy, I'd be constantly worried... and d. we cannot afford it.

I'm happy with just 2.... we had talked more prior.. but I feel my life is more than full with my babies and our lives right now. lay off people. My mom is the only one who gets it.

do you get this too?

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