Mayah Photo & Help With Sibling Issues!

So, the baby's born, what comes next? Discuss your postpartum and parenting concerns here.
amillhouse
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Re : Mayah Photo & Help With Sibling Issues!

Postby amillhouse » Thu Dec 13, 2007 03:51 pm

Thanks again! Jada has been so tearful this week crying every evening - at least she wanted to kiss Mayah tonight. Oh, me oh my! And I am an only child so all of this type of thing is extremely new and bewildering to me!

jenn
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Re : Mayah Photo & Help With Sibling Issues!

Postby jenn » Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:57 am

Anika,

right after Natalia was born my hubbs took the baby to see everyone who was waiting. Jaidyn popped off "I don't want it!" That was huge for her at the time, she hard spoke in sentences.
Then when I was out of recovery.. she wouldn't step foot in my room!
I was crushed!

Three years later they still fight, bicker, and tattle.
But inbetween they have some seriously sweet moments that melt my heart.
Deep inside I know they love each other dearly and are lost without each other.

I'm sure with the baby being so new, it's still an adjustment for Jada.
Afterall she was really use to being sole Princess of her castle like my Jaidyn was.

It'll work out.
And the moments your about to pull out your hair.. know your in good company here.
I'll be here waiting to share war stories!

Much love, Jenn

sonja
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Re : Mayah Photo & Help With Sibling Issues!

Postby sonja » Tue Dec 11, 2007 04:39 pm

My two gals are 26 months apart. One of the reasons that I wanted them that close was that my older one would be less likely to remember those hard first months. There were some tough times, I just remembered that my older one needed the attention more than my little one. They now love eachother (most of the time) and all of the hard stuff is behind us.

amillhouse
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Re : Mayah Photo & Help With Sibling Issues!

Postby amillhouse » Tue Dec 11, 2007 02:24 pm

Thanks, ladies for the great advice. It's the second time today that book was reco utilise mended to me so I will definitely read it. I see that Jada definitely is coming around and I will definitely use the tips you all gave. I will probably come back to you again if and when I have more specific challenges. Thanks again!

fiona
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Re : Mayah Photo & Help With Sibling Issues!

Postby fiona » Mon Dec 10, 2007 00:02 am

Anika,

my boys were much further apart, so the issues were a bit different. We bought Jay a cool gift from his new brother and tried to not call Sacha 'the baby' because even though he was 6, Jay really still saw himself as 'the baby'.

I have heard some people bought their toddler one of those lifelike baby doll's with diapers and whatnot and had them look after it at the same time as mom takes care of the new baby.

Good luck - I'm sure it will work itself out.

cindyh27
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Re : Mayah Photo & Help With Sibling Issues!

Postby cindyh27 » Sun Dec 09, 2007 11:55 pm

Anika,

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter Mayah! What a doll :)

We have this issue even now and my second to youngest is 6 years old... As Heather and Alanna mentioned we include her in changing the diapers, bath time, reading time... I think it will run it course... it's natural to have mixed emotions when the new baby arrives... hopefully it will pass soon...

Congrats again!

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heather j
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Re : Mayah Photo & Help With Sibling Issues!

Postby heather j » Sun Dec 09, 2007 11:23 pm

Mine are closer to three years apart and really, over time, have come to adore each other. Nicolas never really had any issues with Ella once she came home. I made a point, like Alanna, to include Nicolas in all things baby. He brings diapers, carries toys, sings for her ... I even carry on dialogue with him on Ella's behalf. He says, 'I love you Ella,' and I say 'Ella loves you,' etc. It works for him, and he thinks I am her translator.

Also, the best thing I did (I think [;)]) in the beginning, was take advantage of the baby being a baby (ie sleeping contentedly all the time - aside from feedings). When the baby is down and peaceful, spend some time doting on Jada and not talking baby sister - just do things with her that you did in the pre-Mayah age. Try, hard though it may be, to not talk baby all the time with her and try to get others to do the same.

The first few weeks are the hardest, and after that you fall into a pattern and it gets remarkably easier. It's hard for me to even remember life before Ella now - it seems there's always been the two of them. MUCH easier than I ever imagined.

She'll come around; she's still figuring out who this new little being is and why she's in her house! LOL!

ETA
I couldn't get the link to work, but I'll check back later!

alviarin
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Re : Mayah Photo & Help With Sibling Issues!

Postby alviarin » Sun Dec 09, 2007 07:18 pm

My two kiddos are 22 months apart also. A book I found very helpful was _Siblings without Rivalry_ by Adele Faber.

My son seemed to get jealous while I was nursing my daughter too. I wound up reading a lot of stories to him on the couch while nursing the baby so he could get some mommy time too.

We used lots and lots of praise when he was good/helpful with the baby. "Good job touching the baby soft- look, she likes that". I also tried to involve him in helping with the baby, even if it was just handing me her diaper for a change. He also enjoys flipping the handle on the diaper champ, believe it or not.

We also called the baby "your baby sister" hoping he would feel some pride of possession. Our relatives were also careful to make a fuss over him first when coming over, before going gaga over the new baby.

Congratulations and good luck!

amillhouse
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Mayah Photo & Help With Sibling Issues!

Postby amillhouse » Sun Dec 09, 2007 03:46 pm

Hello everyone, to those I know and those I have yet to meet! I am happy to share a photo of Mayah http://www.babababies.com/view/viewt2.cfm?SITEID=50373, she is ten days old today and I just love her to bits!

Any advice, Jada, 22 months, seems to have a love/confused relationship with me right now. Needless to say, the whole thing has been overwhelming for her - with me being in hospital for six days, we never expected that and I had never spent a night away from her. She was shuffled around at friends though she did enjoy herself. Now she seems to like Mayah a lot but sometimes cries when I am nursing and gets upset with me very easy. I didn't do all the stuff I was supposed to do to prepare her for her sister. Any advice/wisdom on how I can help her through this process, or is it just a process that I have to let run its course? Would love to hear stories on how you helped your toddler cope with the new baby. Thanks in advance.


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