At my wits end-Potty training/holding back

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celticepona
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Re : At my wits end-Potty training/holding back

Postby celticepona » Wed Jun 20, 2007 10:32 pm

Does she have a constipation issue? Are her bm;s painful? I used to do that and remember it (withholding because the bms were painful) My mom had me on all kinds of laxatives. I finally just grew out of it when I went to kindergarten.

We also have an issue with Emmy. She is three and shows little interest in the potty. She prefers to use her pullups and wants to be changed, although I know full well she is capable of using the potty. Maybe with Caitlyn it is a comfort thing? Does she prefer diapers? And if it is constipation, have you discussed mineral oil with her pediatrician? Em's pediatrician puts her on mineral oil, and I give her a teaspoon when she gets bound up.

caitlynsmama
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Re : At my wits end-Potty training/holding back

Postby caitlynsmama » Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:08 am

Thank you ladies. I did not include another part of the problem. Caitlyn gets to spend the night at my parents house (most weeks) at least one night a week. Anyway, my mom is able to get her to use the bathroom there on a regular basis and then she comes home and gives me the hardest time! I know the nurses called her strong willed before she ever left the NICU but is there a time where she figures out that she is not the boss? I have put her in nothing but training pants that look like panties or just panties themselves and she does well until she has an accident and then she gets upset and insists on a diaper (world war three ensues and I do not normally back down unless I need to go somewhere). Now that the weather is warm again I have even had times in the house where she has nothing on. I know she knows what to do and what her body is telling her as it is obvious she physically holds it back. She has verbalized that she is scared because it hurts. I have talked to her ped about this issue before (not without her in the room though) and her ped does not think it is a big issue. My biggest problem with it all is that she is withholding her bms and her tummy gets bigger and looks painful and I tell her she is hurting herself and it still does not help. This is a child who has had bm issues since she was in the NICU so I am not without possible fixes but how much laxative and fiber can you give a child and have her let her body do what it needs to do naturally? I have been hoping to get her to a gastroencronologist (spelling) but there is only one in the area that sees kids and he comes from Denver only a few times a year. Anyway, I have had some times with Caitlyn in the last four years. She was an early teether, late walker, and a late talker. Her doc from North Carolina said it is just Caitlyn and Caitlyn does things when Caitlyn feels she needs to do them. Thanks again for your input. I know I have been a lurker for a while but you all have helped me tons over the years I have been a member here.

season
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Re : At my wits end-Potty training/holding back

Postby season » Thu Jun 14, 2007 07:25 pm

The pottyi issues can be so hard. Withholding can lead to real problems - and those problems lead to the lttle one not wanitng o go, which leads to more problems etc. I do not have first hand expereicne - I had a late potty trainer, but he did not withhold (messy, messy.) He had jsut turned four when he finally got excited about not having accidents!

A number of my friends' children have gone through issues like your dd. It is very frustraing. I can say wiht little oens like caitlyn there is no magic cure - and she really does have to decide she wants to do it. She is old enough to be told that it is not good for her body to hold it in. Acknowledge that she is scared and that it's OK to be scared. Maybe you can ask her what will help her with her fear of the potty.

It may encourage #1 if #2 does start going on the potty. Obviously outright comparing could be detrimental. But if #2 starts going ont he potty and gets the attention she deserves for it - then maybe #1 will come around to trying it.

I would also talk wiht the ped (not in her presence) to see if they have any tips or ideas. I would defiantley abck way off on the pressure and see if she also relaxes.

mnmom
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Re : At my wits end-Potty training/holding back

Postby mnmom » Thu Jun 14, 2007 03:10 pm

Can she verbalize what she is scared of or why she won't use the potty? Often when I am working with young children I will set up a play situation similar to the issue we are dealing with. In this case, I would have some dolls or stuffed animals and a potty chair or two and casually wonder if she thinks Elmo needs to go potty. Try to let her lead the conversation. She may not know why she is scared, but she might know why Elmo is. It could just simply be a power issue. My oldest daughter had and still has lots of those!!! Potty training wasn't one of them, but sleeping in her own bed sure was. We were just matter of fact with her that big girls slept in their own beds, big girls got to go to gymnastics, got to paint, got to go to preschool....It didn't work perfectly, but she is 20 now, and she does sleep in her own bed[:)] I wish you luck!

fiona
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Re : At my wits end-Potty training/holding back

Postby fiona » Thu Jun 14, 2007 11:59 am

Jay was late at potty training - he was close to 3 1/2, I think. But that was mostly because I chose to not push it and one day he just decided for himself.

I think in your shoes I'd get a referral to a good ped. Good luck.

annes
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Re : At my wits end-Potty training/holding back

Postby annes » Thu Jun 14, 2007 11:28 am

Shannon, no advice here, I just want you to know you are not alone. Parker will be 4 in July and will pee on the potty (only if you remind him every hour, but will very rarely go #2 on the potty). We have tried everything, also (except making him clean himself up, maybe we will try that next) I am going to bring it up with the Ped. at his 4 year appointment. He does not hold back, he goes #2 right in his pull-up, but stealthily, we can't catch him doing it. We are really worried. Maybe if you get your younger daughter going it will inspire your older? Let me know if you get any info, and I'll do the same, good luck.

caitlynsmama
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At my wits end-Potty training/holding back

Postby caitlynsmama » Thu Jun 14, 2007 09:17 am

I know I have read about every thread there is about potty training on here and I still have no idea what to do! Caitlyn will be four in August and she knows what to do but refuses to even to the point where she holds back both her urine and her bms to the point that she cries when she lets them go! Is this something anyone has gone through? I have had her on Miralax for over a year with no luck on the constipation/holding back of bms and have tried all the tricks on the potty training including putting the portable DVD player in the bathroom. She will sit there for over a hour if I let her and do nothing! She says she is scared?? I was really hoping to have one of my daughters out of pullups/training pants/diapers before I had to start on the other one. Genna will be 2 on July 29th and is already wanting to go on the potty. Genna has always been regular for her urine output and bms that I can always tell when one or the other is coming and am able to get her changed. Not Caitlyn. I know some on here have said it is up to the child and the child will do it in her own time but I am afraid she will be missing out on dancing lessons and school if she does not do this soon!


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