how to deal with guilt

Are you part of the NICU club? Do you have a child who is still struggling with the effects of being born too soon from preeclampsia? Share your concerns and stories here among parents who have been there.
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Re : how to deal with guilt

Postby sandy » Thu Aug 12, 2004 12:02 am

Hi Michelle,
I responded to your post in the "roll call" forum. Also just wanted to add that talking with the Social Worker at the hospital is an excellent idea from the previous post.

Had forgotten about that. The SW at the hospital my DD was at was an excellent source of support.

It's tough to know about these things when you haven't been through something like this before.

~Sandy/DD born via emergency C at 35 wks/1 day June '03 due to Severe PE/class III HELLP

CAUGHT THE EGG!! Estimated hatch date: 3/13/05; scheduled C at 39 weeks...or earlier if needed.

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Re : how to deal with guilt

Postby jenn » Thu Aug 12, 2004 11:43 am

Hi and welcome. And let's not forget, CONGRATS on your new baby! [:)]
27 wkr, I bet she's just a lil' peanut.
So sorry for what has happened, many of us including myself know what this feels like.
How is she doing (health wise)?

I too was sent to a hospital 60 some odd miles from home and it was so hard. My DH had to work and I was lucky to stay at a near by Ronald McDonald house and be with her daily.
Is this something that is avil. to you?
Have you talked with a hospital social worker about ooptions during this hard time?
You might like to if you haven't.

Emotionally this is soo hard, I know, please accept my love and hugs! Being sent pronto'!
Health wise how are you doing?
Lil' peanut needs a healthy mommy first, please take good care of yourself.
Guilt is something I felt as well. My pg ended without my perfect "baby Story" ending and I was crushed. And to share my baby with the hospital staff was no easy task. Those first diaper changes, baths, and cuddles were for me only. Hard to understand her health got in the way. Let the hosptial know that when you are able to be there with her, you take care of her needs (changing, cuddle time, the works)
I don't want to ramble, so please let me know if there is anything I can do. Know prayers are coming your way.
Sending lots of love to you and your new family!!!

Jennie (24)
Shad DH (29)

Jaidyn 1.24.01 (30 wkr)
2lb. 12oz.

Natalia Rosse
Due Thanksgiving day!
Natalia's web page

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how to deal with guilt

Postby mlcoltrain » Thu Aug 12, 2004 11:27 am

I live in a smaller town in OK and had to be transfered to Oklahoma City for the emergency c-section of my DD on July 24th, she was born at 27 1/2 weeks. As of right now she is doing great and we are just dealing day by day. My question is how do I deal with my DD being in the NICU. The hard part of this is she is in an NICU in OKC, 2hrs away from my home. My husband has to start back to work on Monday, and we don't have any family in the area (military, so we move a lot). And I am not quite emotionally stable yet to be alone. So we have decided to be at home from Mon-Thur, and will be in OKC Fri-Sun. We decided on this since DD isn't quite yet stable enough for a lot of handling and I can only stare at the isolette so much. Once she is more stable for more handling and such, and my emotions are a little more under control, I will stay up there more with DH coming up for long weekends. But until that point, How do I deal with the feelings about leaving her and not being there for her everyday? Will she really know and realize that I am not there? There is also some insane part of me that is afraid she is gonna start bonding with her nurses before we get a chance to bond. Guilt is an odd emotion and I am not quite sure how to deal with all the different feelings of guilt I have.

DD - Morgan 7/24/04 at 27 1/2wks (severe PE/HELLP/low fluid)

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