6/24.....scary day

Are you part of the NICU club? Do you have a child who is still struggling with the effects of being born too soon from preeclampsia? Share your concerns and stories here among parents who have been there.
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Re : 6/24.....scary day

Postby elainej9 » Thu Nov 02, 638299 6:53 am

Nikkole I do believe in strength from inside...I also believe it will come from Ella. With everything you have been through and continue to go through she helps you. Ethan is so lucky to have you there and I send him all my positive thoughts to keep him getting stronger and stronger. As for Chad, and marriage is so hard...when we say our vows we never think we'll go through a loss as great as the one you've had for Ella and I've had for Caitlyn. It takes a toll. My DH and I had therapy which was what has saved us. It might be worth talking to Chad about it....Take care of yourself. Email me anytime!

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Re : 6/24.....scary day

Postby mnmom » Sat Oct 21, 638299 5:41 am

Nikkole-First many hugs. You, Ethan and Chad continue to be in my prayers. I am so sorry you are going through all of this, and so amazed at your continued strength. I hope the past few days have been good ones.

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Re : 6/24.....scary day

Postby lynnekay » Wed Oct 11, 638299 4:17 am


I have been out of town and I just logged in and read your post. Sorry, to hear that Ethan is having a few setbacks. Thats pretty typical NICU motion = 1 step forward 3 giant steps back (somedays!) Please update us when you can and I will say a powerful prayer for Ethan tonight for healing and recovery from his current medical issues.

As far as Chad goes, I would try you best to put him on the back burner for now on a slow simmer and focus ALL of your attention on Ethan. Once Ethan comes home you can turn the burner up on Chad and come to a full boil and release your steam on him!!! Shame on his mommy for allowing him to run away and stay at her house, especially during this time of crisis in your lives. Gee, it sounds like youe MIL may be part of the problem...

Stay strong and postive for little Ethan, he is a fighter!!!


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Re : 6/24.....scary day

Postby rsgeller » Thu Sep 28, 638299 10:35 am

Oh Nikki, I am so sorry. That had to have been so scary for you and Ethan. I wish I could be there to give you support in person...but please know that we think about you and Ethan every day. I'm speechless about Chad's actions. Have you guys discussed marriage counseling? I know it's not something you really have the time for right now....but you don't have the time for his actions either so if you have to spend time dealing with one of the two, it might as well be counseling. Just a thought. I pray for you and Ethan constantly. Keep up all the great work.

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Re : 6/24.....scary day

Postby kathyc » Wed Sep 27, 638299 11:49 am

Oh hon, what a scary time. I wish none of you were having to go through this. You continue to amaze me with your strength. You are a wonderful Mom who has done and continues to do everything possible for the health of little Ethan. Continued prayers.

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Re : 6/24.....scary day

Postby pennyg » Wed Sep 27, 638299 7:34 am

Oh Nikkole....wish I could wrap you in a BIG HUG right now!!!
What a scary day for you and Ethan.....glad things are stable now.

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Re : 6/24.....scary day

Postby jacobkaden » Mon Sep 18, 638299 7:10 am

First of all, big, big hugs from me! I can really empathize with everything you are going through right now. I agree with an earlier post about the brain bleeds, CP, etc. in that it is all very "unknown" and difficult to predict how Ethan will fare. Jacob's neurologist said although they use the scans as a guidepost, the definitive thing is to look at the child. Some preemies have horrible brain bleeds and end up with no disabilities. Others, like my son Jacob have perfect scans, yet he is so developmentally delayed and exhibits opposing "symptoms" of CP, that the best experts can't say for sure what's going on? The most frustrating thing is living with the unknown. I have tried to "prepare for the worst" and "hope for the best". This gives Jacob a huge margin of growth. Also, the range of CP is HUGE! Jacob is very mentally alert, socially engaging, with a great sense of humour and I thank my lucky stars for that! I pray that Ethan will come out of this with no disabilities.

Your marital situation brings back some BRUTAL memories of my marriage during Jacob's early NICU days. DH was also coping by drinking, which of course made him unreliable and I can say definitively, I was NOT OKAY WITH THIS! It is selfish behaviour, indeed. Ultimately, that's a big part of what prompted our separation. We would not have made it without marriage counselling and an equal commitment to make the changes necessary to work things out. Really hoping you two can work things out. In the meantime, take care of yourself. I relied heavily on my girlfriends, family and the NICU social worker to help me through.

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Re : 6/24.....scary day

Postby lisainnj » Mon Sep 18, 638299 7:02 am

What a horrible day for you and Ethan! I hope he doesn't ever have to go through anything so scary again!

I used to carpool a little boy who had major PVLs, not little ones - at four he had some issues and was getting speech and physical therapy - at seven he had progressed so far, running fast with a slight limp, obviously a smart little kid, doing well in school, very outgoing and confident.

Prayers for Ethan, and you, and Chad.

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Re : 6/24.....scary day

Postby for faith » Sun Sep 17, 638299 3:47 pm

Many prayers for Ethan. Praying for you both too, the stress of the NICU and not knowing your child will be ok is something no parent should have to do and for you both to have to lose Ella and then be in the NICU again is so unfair. I'm sure Chad just is doing anything to hold it together (not that that is an excuse, but I have definitely learning through griefing my daughter that all people handle stress differently). I am sending so many thoughts and prayers for your whole family. Many hugs.

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Re : 6/24.....scary day

Postby jana m » Sun Sep 17, 638299 7:39 am

I'm so sorry that Ethan has hit a bump in the road. Please know that I am always thinking of you both and hoping for the very, very best.

I don't think there are many things that are more stressful than what you and Chad have been through in less than one year. Loosing a baby is completely devastating and then having a preemie so soon after is another huge blow. You've both been through so much and right now, you are trying to focus all of your attention on Ethan. I hope that there will come a point where things are a little less critical and maybe, just maybe the two of you can take some time to focus on each other and your marriage.

I know telling you to 'hang in there' probably doesn't help very much. Just know that you have a huge support system on these boards. We are all your friends and will support you in any way you need.

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