Today is Lindsey's 3rd birthday

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Re : Today is Lindsey's 3rd birthday

Postby cindyh27 » Wed Jun 11, 2008 01:01 pm

Happy Birthday Lindsay!

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Re : Today is Lindsey's 3rd birthday

Postby hhbeachgurl » Wed Jun 11, 2008 00:24 am

happy birthday little girl

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Re : Today is Lindsey's 3rd birthday

Postby kara » Tue Jun 10, 2008 11:25 pm

Danielle, I go through the same thing every year...and it is a surprise each year when I think I'm going to do so much better. But, I think it's a healthy way that we deal with the trauma we've been through. It makes us appreciate our lives and our kiddoos that much more. Happy Birthday to Lindsay, and sending some peace to mom. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but it's ok. Give that girl an extra big hug from all of us tonight.

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Re : Today is Lindsey's 3rd birthday

Postby pld0804 » Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:27 pm

Happy Birthday Lindsay! I love a happy ending!

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Re : Today is Lindsey's 3rd birthday

Postby angelkat » Tue Jun 10, 2008 09:27 pm

Happy Birthday Sweet Lindsey!!! I can't believe she is three already... Seems like only last year she was born

Hey, sorry I haven't been around when you have called. School,work and life have really kicked my butt and I don't have time to even think - I told Ben the other night I had to call you back but need to find about a good hour to check up on life.

I'll try to give you a call this weekend!!!!! HUGS!!!!!!

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Today is Lindsey's 3rd birthday

Postby miracle3 » Tue Jun 10, 2008 02:18 pm

Well it has been 3 years and to my disbelief the feelings I felt that very day are still lingering inside me. For the past 2 years I have posted the same post and I was hoping this year I would feel so differently that I could post something else but its just not the case. I will never forget that day, the days leading up to that day, or even the following days. So for those that have read this post before thanks for taking the time to read it again.

It is so strange how one event can alter your entire life. 3 years ago I remember going in for an appointment knowing that the ball could drop at any time but not really being prepared for it to happen so soon. I remember the feeling I had when my Dr. said I had to have her that day and all the questions that came with that. What will she be like? What can I expect? Will she be int NICU? Little did I know her bing 6 weeks early was should have been the least of my concerns. When I got to the hospital it was planned that I would have a routine induction. I was already checked by my dr. and I was ready to go even at 34 weeks. I arrived and they were having problems getting my IV in. The nurse finally gave up and went to get the anastegiologist sp? that happend to be on the floor at the time. Heis name was Kirk and hehappened to be the same dr that helped me when I had those problems with my epidural after I had Alex. I remember joking with him about how I would not be seing him anymore that day because I wasn't having an epidural. He said he recognized me and he remembered. I was excited and nervous all at the same time but that didn't last long. When the nurse finally got me going I was administered a antibiotic that was to help make it safe for Lindsey to be delivered because my strep test hadn't yet been done. When they turned on the IV I crashed. I nearly passed out and the first person to return to my side was the anastegiologist that put the IV in I laugh about that sometimes. I remember them laying my bed down and I just happend to glance over after the blood pressure machine went off and the bottem number was a mere 12. Kirk realized I had saw that and turned me over away from the monitor. At that point in time I thought I was so sick I didn't know what was going to happen. They began whispering I was concious but wasn't with it enough to know what if anything was going on.The next thing I know my doctor is asking my family who is willing to give VERBAL authorization for the c-sectionas there was nno time to sign any papers.
I remember someone asking if anyone could go with me and them saying no I also remember someone asking if I was going to be awake and them being told absolutely not. I was scared and incredibly frightened at that time a c- section sounded pretty scary and I cried.I remember someone shaviing me but I never saw her I was still with it but not entirely. They wheeled me to the operating room and it was after I was on the table that I realized my worse fears were upon us. My nurse was standing beside nme holding a doppler and there was no heartbeat. I didnt figure that out because I didn't hear it but because of the look on her face. I don't think I will ever forget that look it was a look of pure fear and sadness. I responded after seeing that and I said "you can't find her" Kirk said she has probably just moved. Even though I knew that wasn't true i was still to sick to argue, to weak to even speak. I lay there speechless with the most fear I have ever felt in my life. My doctor walkes in and they put me to sleep immediatly. When I woke up I was told that a number of things were wrong but that she was in the NICU and was stable. They said I had a placental abruption and Lindsey had the cord around her neck several times. My doctor the next day told me that I would have lost my life if he would have waited 2 more days to deliver. I would not have been alive to make it to his office. Lindsey wouldn't have been either. Preeclampsia caused my placental abruption that almost led to Lindsey's death. I often think about what might have happened if I hadn't been in the hospital at the right time. The NICU rollercoaster is just as trying. I remember the first time I saw her and I was only allowed to simply touch her. I remember coming back a few hours later and being told and shown that she was now on a cpap machine to help her breath.They said when her oxygen levels remained at 90 that she could come off of it. I remember watching the numbers go 87,89,86,88, and just wishing I would see it reach 90. I remember only being able to see her every three hours and most of the time it was spent feeding her because she was having a hard time le arning to feed. That usually took up the whole 1/2 hour. There was one occasion I remember where she ate quickly so we spent the other 10 minutes talking and snuggling. I remember the nurses even their names and how you always have that favorite one. I remember the sadness, guilt, and pure anger I felt the day I had to leave and leave her behind and the happiness and nervousness I felt when I got to bring her home.


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