6 yrs later... and it's still overwhelming

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christine lyn
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Re : 6 yrs later... and it's still overwhelming

Postby christine lyn » Sun Jan 21, 2007 04:42 pm

My son is only two and I can't believe how time goes by so fast. I relive the whole pregnancy and delivery over and over alot in my head and think of all the weeks we spent in the NICU and how lucky I was and my son. I have a miracle and the only battles I'm dealing with is his speech which is delayed but we're working on that. I know what all you Mom's are going through and feel the same way also.

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Re : 6 yrs later... and it's still overwhelming

Postby jenn » Fri Jan 19, 2007 07:03 pm

Well it's been a long day.
I think I built it up to be more than it really was.
Haven't decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing yet.

But anyways..
We met with Jai's teacher and we reviewed these testing scores that all kids take (Dibals?)
As I figured Jai's scores were on the bottom of the graph.
We talked about what we can do at home to help her and what not.
But all in the same breath - Jai blew my socks off when she drew a cat while we sat there and her teacher asked her to spell cat.
Sounded it out all by herself!
Blown away none the less!

But the school physcologist came in and talked to us about wanting to address concerns. I signed a waiver to test her congnative abilities and from there she wants to look into the possible PDD.
And we'll go from there.

All in all I felt it was painless.
But then again I feel they are doing the bare minimum to save their butts.
Though it's a starting point and I'll see how it goes.

They didn't bring up holding her back a year which suripzed me greatly.
Another mom I know walked out before us crying cause that's what they told her about her son (holding him back).
Now I know this kid and think he's beyond his years.... and then we have Jai whom acts very imature.
Makes no sense.
Just shows me how crazy education is anymore.

But that's our update.
I'll update as I know anything else or need more advice.
Cause we know I will [;)]

My love, Jenn

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Re : 6 yrs later... and it's still overwhelming

Postby season » Thu Jan 18, 2007 05:19 pm

Jenn I really hope that you and the school can work something out to help Jai. I'm glad to hear that the teacher wanted to ehar from you. The mroe information everyone has the better decision can be made. I hope the counselor jsut becomes another piece of the greater puzzle.

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Re : 6 yrs later... and it's still overwhelming

Postby deerhart » Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:44 am


Would it be possible that the lunch room is simply too overwhelming for her senses and she needs a quieter room to eat in?

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Re : 6 yrs later... and it's still overwhelming

Postby jenn » Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:32 am

Okkie dokkie,
So here's "the latest".
Jai's teacher calls me again last night and asked me to put my concerns on the table in addition to her's.
Well I blasted her.
I think I may have finally gotten the point across. [:)]
But for some odd reason a lot of Jaidyn's past was news to her!
I was shocked!
I felt Jaidyn's past history, in detail, was something she should have been made aware of. [email protected]#$
Anyways... It just further more justified today's meeting.

One thing the teacher pointed out was Jaidyn's constant tounge stiking out to the side. Not in the way Michael Jordan does when he's making a shot.. but in an odd way.
Now I've seen this for sometime and have no good answer for it.
But I'm glad she see's it too.
It could mean something. Maybe something as simple as Jai's difficulty processing information.
The teacher thinks this is something that needs addressing.
Well FINALLY. Yeesh.

So I had this long drawn out conversation where I told her everything that's been upsetting for me since Jai started full time K.
Including lunch.
So today she tells me she's have one of the lunch room aids "watch her".
I should have asked if that including help.
Poor kid needs help, not servalence.
Oh! Erin before I forget... I did send her with a homemade lunch yesterday of all her fave lil' lunch treats...and she didn't even touch any of it. ugh.

Teacher also added that the school councler wants to talk to me, and that I should be expecting her call today.
I don't even know what for.
So now I'm sick over that thinking... "now what!?"
I promise the dysfunction isn't as bad as it seems. [8D]

So that's that for now...
I best go give Natalia some attention before she tears the house apart with Dora toys.

I'll be in touch, Jenn

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Re : 6 yrs later... and it's still overwhelming

Postby jenn » Thu Jan 18, 2007 09:55 am

Thank you so much for your responses!

I need to run the kiddos' off to school - but I'll be right back and post.
Like my 1 hour long conversation with her teacher on the phone AGAIN last night. *her-umph*

Wish me luck... Jai's really throwing a heck of a fit about going today.

ttfn Jenn

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Re : 6 yrs later... and it's still overwhelming

Postby dohertyab » Thu Jan 18, 2007 09:19 am

Hello. Just a couple of thoughts. My twins are in what we call senior kindy. They're 5. Because the school is in french they do full day every day for junior and senior kindy. While they don't have specific eating problems they do eat very slowly (most dinners take about 1 hour and they still don't eat too much, but it is getting better). One thing to consider - they had their tonsils out Mar. 2006 and they eat significantly more food than before. 2 other of their classmates also had tonsils out and their food consumption has also increased. That's not necessarily a reason to get their tonsils out but an added benefit. As for the being tired - the reason their tonsils came out was sleep apnea. They were spending 11 hours in bed every night but snored and tossed and turned all night long (they've snored very loudly since they came home from the hospital). The specialist asked several questions about their sleep habits, looked at their tonsils and said yup - they should come out. So the afteraffects have been quiet sleep, much happier and interactive during the day and increased appetite. The smaller twin is now on the growth charts! Interestingly, their GP said that he recently read a study of kids who had been diagnosed ADHD, on meds, who got their tonsils out and then didn't need meds anymore. Turns out they weren't ADHD just exhausted! Again, I'm not pushing getting tonsils out, but it really seems to have had lots of added benefits for the twins.

A second thing we did last year was I would pull them from school every other Wednesday. I told the teacher they needed the extra rest. That way they would have 2 days at school, not eat so well, get tired and then we'd have a day to sleep and play quietly at home and then 2 more days of school, and then the weekend. Yes, they miss some school, but the last at school all day by themselves.

Finally, the teacher did allow some extra time for eating. She arranged to have an older student come into the class during morning recess and they could snack (sent from home) and then go out to play with the rest of the class. They were motivated to eat quickly so they could go play and they still got time outside. Snack would be a cracker and piece of cheese or 2 slices of apple or a yoghurt tube, something relatively small.

Finally, their class was set up and this years class too so that they would watch part of a movie after lunch. The kids could lie down and many had blankets, so that if they slept fine, if not they had quiet time.

It's tough that's for sure. The first time they're not under your supervision or someone you chose and spoke with daily. But that's part of them growing up. I had the added benefit of knowing that they would watch out for each other, so the transition was easier on me.

Good luck, keep asking the questions you are, you know your child the best!

Tara and Rowan (May 2001, 29 weekers, 2lbs)
Maeve (Mar 2005, 36 weeker)

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Re : 6 yrs later... and it's still overwhelming

Postby deerhart » Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:26 pm

Okay Jenn

She defintely either needs an aide during lunch at a minimum or have you thought about sending food from home for lunch? I know I worried myself sick about Alex not eating, but he had a few practice runs in Kindy where we took his lunch and then we started to let him buy his lunch (with follow up with his aide to see that he could do it). This year he's bought his lunch all year just fine and eats more types of food at school then at home! Our concern was that Alex does tend to snack a lot and takes a long time to eat, but he has been able to adapt to school, but then again last year he had both an aide and an older student reading buddy showing him how to do it as well.

Oh another thing the school does, at kindy and 1st grade at least, the student has to choose the type of lunch they want when the first get to school for the day. Its then recorded and sent to the cafeteria so the choice is made well in advanced of actual lunch time!

Another thing you can request is that she get a rest period during the day.

As for a daily report, honestly I have always gotten one on Alex. He has a behavior chart in which shows his daily schedule (so I know what he did each day and at what time) and then any notes form the teacher on the specific time block it occurred in. We get everything from things he did poorly to things he did really well included in those notes. Though some days we also get nothing (as it was just a typical day) Since our focus is mostly behavioral thats what we get, but I am sure you can request whatever the specifics you need are (last year we had them reporting on his social interaction with classmates and what he did at recess, we dropped it for this year).

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Re : 6 yrs later... and it's still overwhelming

Postby hannahsmom » Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:16 pm

Oh, Jenn - I'm trying to get Hannah to bed so I don't have much time to post but I am right there with ya sister. It's been a rough few days for us. I have been meaning to email you because I know you had similar issues with Jai. I'll be in touch!

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Re : 6 yrs later... and it's still overwhelming

Postby season » Wed Jan 17, 2007 06:30 pm

Jenn, I really do hope that the testing will help everyone understand Jai. You are such a great mama fighting for what she needs. Try not to let what they say she needs color over what you know about her too. The school system is not always right about what kids need. (Their focus is on kids fitting into the system - and giving them good results.) She may not need the independence or structure that the all day program provides. Also, if she really is at a 3-4 year old level, then hopefully the school will recognoze this and adjust the expectations based on where she is and what her next steps need to be (rather than the enxt step of the average 5 or 6 year old.) Ezpecailly make a point about ehr ongpoing feeding issues. This is not a behavior problem for Jai, she needs it documented that she has problems with eating and help with making sure she picks out and eats as her body needs.

I have a friend who used to teach an all day young fives class. (Kids who were technically old enough for kindergarten, but for many reason, weren't ready.) Since it was all day, they had a rest time. Not all kids slept, but they would all lay down. They need rest, expecially when faced with that much structure and stimulation. If she was still napping, then maybe she really does get to tired. Can she go back to half day? I'm surprised a full day class is not taking soem time to rest in the middle of the day.

If she does well with the half day, why not let her have that success? This would also give her time to rest and to be less stressed about things like pottying. If she's not fully indepnedent there, being at school all day could be really stressful for her - especially once she's tired.

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