Scared to become pregnant

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Re: Scared to become pregnant

Postby sam10 » Thu Sep 12, 2013 07:37 pm

Hello Lisa,

I am so very sorry you lost your mom and sister to preeclampsia, and how it affected your entire life. I very much hope that you will find peace some day, but I understand that this is a very delicate and difficult situation. The one thing that helped me very much was counseling. I found a therapist who was seeing me after the loss of my first child. It has been invaluable on so many levels to seek this kind of help. It made quite a difference. I also saw my therapist throughout my second pregnancy, sometimes twice a week. Secondly, I also looked for the best doctor (specialized in high-risk pregnancies) I could find in my area including the best hospital that I could reach easily if needed. It also helped me to feel in control to know as much as possible about preeclampsia; I could be an "active" patient, able to advocate for myself.
I very much hope you can find a way to make your dream come true and have children of your own. And yes, the medical field has advanced very much in the last 20 years.
Please feel free to post any questions you may have. We are here and will be holding your hand should you decide to become pregnant. Sending you many hugs.
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
H (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
M (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE

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Scared to become pregnant

Postby scareddaughter » Thu Sep 12, 2013 07:13 pm

Hi My name is Lisa,

I am from Australia and my mother and sister died from preecclampsia nearly 22 years ago. I am now of the age where I would like to start a family but I am frightened to become pregnant.
I had a very traumatic childhood after loosing my mother just before I turned 2. I do not remember her I do not know what she was like, I am at this stage of my life a complete wreck somtimes still grieving the loss of my mother as I am close to my wedding day and watching other people close to me give birth to babies.

I have been told that I have twice the chance of having preeclampsia then my mother because of how severe it was. Because of the life I have had slipping in and out of depression and the constant grieving over 21 years has made me so scared to think I could have a child and pass away and they would have the same childhood I did. Mind you I do not get along 100% with my partners parents and the thought of them raising my child is painful as I see the way they are with their other grandchildren.

My partner and I are very keen to start a family but it wasn't until my Gyno appointment a few days ago that I have considered not having children. Even though she says that I may be a high risk pregnancy and she will look after me through the whole process and medicine is alot better now then it was back then I can't imagine leaving my child to go through what I did.

I dont know how to cope with this descision the more I think about it the more i do not want to have children..... this is so strange for me as I have been yearning to have my own child since I was very young and am very maternal with everyones children. But I am so scared and this decision could really affect whther or not I marry my partner and with our edding only 5 months away I am in panic mode of what to do. I do not want to deprive him of having a family he will be a wonderful dad and he wants children so badly I would never be selfish to marry him and not give him children.

I need some guidance or help......I have no idea where to go...

Thanks in advance Lisa

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