Scared for no reason

[cindergretta]

Thank you both. Other major stressors have been added since I last posted. I am fine, though. Just continually nervous... (I really want to see my baby and HEAR his heartbeat!!!)

[MattysGirl]

You have been through a lot! You have a lot of reason to be scared. Heck I had preeclampsia with only 1 pregnancy and I'm scared and very worried about all those things, and I'm not even pregnant yet. Praying everything goes well for you and this baby. Hang in there and try to think positive. ((((HUGS))))

[caryn]

Being scared because of your history is not "no reason." Pregnancy, for us, is scary.

How are you today?

[cindergretta]

I am 23 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I am 40 next month. This is my 13th pregnancy and 7th baby. I had pre-e with my first and third and Class I HELLP in 2005 with my 5th. Dh and I decided after #5 that we were done. HELLP scared us half to death. Dh thought for sure I was going to die in the 12 hours after I delivered. Anyway, in 2007, we had a *very* unexpected BFP. After we got over the shock, we were glad. Then we lost that baby. So we decided to actively TTC and we did and we found a great dr we trusted and who knows what he is doing when dealing with women with hypertension issues. We had a good pregnancy and I delivered at 36 weeks after 2 weeks in the hospital. The we decided, again, that we were DONE. Fast forward to 2011 and we started thinking we could have one last munchkin. We started TTC and lost one after another. We had three miscarriages before seeming to conceive a "sticky baby." Then that baby died at 12 weeks pregnant. We waited 3 months and started TTC again.

So, here we are, 23 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. We are super excited and scared to death. I keep forgetting to take my meds for my blood pressure and it is frustrating me no end. I freak out when I don't feel him move for a whole day. Every ache, every pain, causes me to panic. My last appt was on 1/11 and my next appt is on 2/8. I wonder if I can wait that long to hear his heartbeat again. I get myself convinced that he is going to die and I'm not going to know it.

After forgetting to take my meds last night and this morning, I wasn't feeling well and was seeing stars. That was when we realized I hadn't taken medication for over 24 hours. I took it then and laid down. But now I am not feeling well and I am *sure* it is not related, but my mind is running away with me. I am scared of a stroke, pre-e, baby dying, you name it. I think the overwhelming fear is what is making me feel so sick.

Not sure where I am going with this... <sigh>

(What I mean when I say I am scared for no reason is that there is no reason to think anything is wrong EXCEPT my own fear. There is nothing going on that I should actually be concerned about.)