just griping...

[sheri-ct]

I hate those comments!!!! I keep getting "congrats......it looks like you're having a great pregnancy this time"...........my response is "things were looking good at 28 weeks last time too". Only someone that has been through it really understands. ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

[joannek]

thanks for all the understanding and comisserating ladies! I'm glad to have this board.

[guinevere]

This is why it's nice to have a place where people DO "get it." This is a great forum and I'm happy to have found it! :)

Truthfully, though, most of the population at large out there doesn't have a clue what it means to be pg again after serious pg complications the first time around (or multiple times, for that matter.) They truly cannot appreciate the anxiety and stress and mixed emotions we go through as we struggle to find that balance between total, dehabilitating fear and complete and wild joy at having another chance. After five babies (soon to be six), I've finally had to let it go and realize that it's just a club you can't fully understand if you haven't had to join it yourself.

But that doesn't mean I don't still chafe at some of the comments -- GFs who don't understand why I don't ever want to plan a baby shower/celebration until AFTER the baby arrives, hopefully safe and sound, b/c usually I deliver prematurely or am on total bedrest for my entire last trimester (and I've also m/c.) Other acquaintances and even health care professionals subtly imply that if I only tried this or that or "took better care of myself" that I could avoid all these issues. Or, my personal favorite -- that it's a question of "attitude." Yesiree, if only I had the power of positive thinking and could truly visualize my desired (healthy) outcome, why, I would be just fine. *insert me rolling my eyes here* Gee, why didn't *I* think of that? Yep, I'll get right on that....:P

Well, I truly do appreciate how hard it is for you to take the leap and get pg again after dealing w/PE. I wasn't a basketcase with baby #2, but only b/c I was stupid and uninformed and had been told by (and naively believed) all my doctors that PE wouldn't recur. Deciding to TTC baby #3, though, after having severe PE/eclampsia w/#2, was a HUGE process, and I only undertook it after tons of testing, medical research, some hefty counselling for PTSD, and a LOT of soul-searching and late-night talks between DH and myself. And I was still a basketcase through the entire thing, anyway. So, big hugs to you, and I'm wishing you as much peace in the coming months as is possible.

Kind regards,

[kteacher]

and this is one of the reasons for this wonderful forum my dear friends

[rachelsmommy]

I agree that people don't get it. My MIL actually said that she didn't have any problems in her pregnancy because she is a healthy person and has a strong mind. She was implying that I am not healthy and don't have a strong mind so that is why I delivered early in my first pregnancy. Dh was furious!

[amanda]

I can imagine that it's difficult! Vent, vent away - we'll listen!

[missgamecock]

All I have to say is UGH. After 3 pe pregnancies, family and friends STILL don't get it...

[kteacher]

well...when i was pregnant this past time my sister in law (husband's sis) was 2 weeks ahead of me. she said she hoped her gestational dia. and other test went well her mom said i'm sure it will you take good care of yourself...you'll have a healthy pregnancy...well if only taking care of yourself meant that...good grief...she knew how my pregnancy went the first time...does this mean she thought i didn't take care of myself?

[coachswife14]

I can relate as well. I posted the other day on my facebook that I was so happy to be full-term but that I wish my docs would take me more seriously. I actually got people on there that said I should be "thankful" to have made it this far and haven't had the problems I did with the other two.

Um, really? Because I'd swear I'm having the SAME problems.

Also, if I had a dollar for every time I heard my MIL say...."I have no frame of reference for what you are going through because my pregnancies were perfect"...let's just say I'd be a permanent SAHM.

Hugs to you.....some people just don't "get" PE.

[hannahsmom]

I am from a huge family and no one could understand why I wanted to stop at one child. Now that I am pregnant with number two, I have announced that this is it, and no one better ask me about having number three! Getting my tubes tied during this c-section.

Take Care!