I can't believe I said this! :-(

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kbunsey
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Re : I can't believe I said this! :-(

Postby kbunsey » Thu Feb 04, 2010 05:20 pm

I'm not trying to be cold or flip, but it happens and I wouldn't bang yourself up about it. My husband went to the cemetery and "Visited with Fiona." Without even thinking, I said, "Why!? She isn't there." As if it were stupid that he did that. Then I felt bad. That's his way of dealing with it and if it is symbolic for him to go there - then that's his thing and I can respect it. And so I apologized and gave him a hug. And he understands. And hopefully next time I'll slow down and think. It is just hard b/c we want to move on and let go and not be constantly sidestepping around dates, and places and other reminders and triggers - but can we really? And at the same time we want to remember and honor - but we don't want to get stuck. It feels to me like a constant activity.

I hope you enjoy YOUR time together whichever day you decide to spend it!

darateacher
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Re : I can't believe I said this! :-(

Postby darateacher » Wed Jan 27, 2010 10:20 am

Thank you, Brianne. I still wish I'd never said that! I miss my Aaron a LOT!!!

brianned5
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Re : I can't believe I said this! :-(

Postby brianned5 » Wed Jan 27, 2010 08:55 am

We say things, not thinking, then it hits us, oh goodness did that actually come out of myself. It happens, and you're not awful for what you said. I'll be thinking of your family.

darateacher
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Re : I can't believe I said this! :-(

Postby darateacher » Fri Jan 22, 2010 09:14 pm

HUGS to you, Ro, Kara, and Anne! Looks like we'll be going out this weekend or Feb. 7th. Okay by me.

Kara and Ro, you're right 100% about having limited "me" and "couple" time over here, especially on the weekends. Let's hope we can do this Sunday...that's the day my folks said we could bring the boys to their house. They've got cribs, toys, the works!


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rosemary
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Re : I can't believe I said this! :-(

Postby rosemary » Fri Jan 22, 2010 05:55 pm

Dara...I am coming into this a little late...don't be so hard on yourself. We have all said things and then have wanted to hit the reverse button. I have to imagine with the twins that you and Dan get few opportunities to have "you" time. Whatever day you choose, I hope that you two can enjoy your evening. HUGS!!!!!!

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Re : I can't believe I said this! :-(

Postby kara » Fri Jan 22, 2010 05:07 pm

Dara, I bet Dan knows you so well, that he knows you won't be yourself that day. He doesn't want you to feel even worse for possibly wanting to cancel plans if you aren't feeling like going out that day. Have a nice family night, do something special with the boys while remembering Aaron. And have a FUN date night another night. :-)

darateacher
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Re : I can't believe I said this! :-(

Postby darateacher » Fri Jan 22, 2010 03:19 pm

Thanks, Anne. I'm glad you responded. Was beginning to feel that what I'd said was truly awful and unforgiveable!


annes
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Re : I can't believe I said this! :-(

Postby annes » Fri Jan 22, 2010 09:33 am

Because you are human ;). It is ok. I am sure your dh understands that sometimes things just pop out. It is horrible to even have to think about dates in this way, because no one should have to mourn thier child. Try not to beat yourself up too much...

darateacher
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I can't believe I said this! :-(

Postby darateacher » Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:50 am

Last night, Dan and I were talking about one of the evenings out we've planned with my parents to babysit.

Anyway, our first going out evening was scheduled for 2/6/10, which is Aaron's birthday and Angelversary. Of course, I already know this, but it didn't cross my mind until Dan brought it up last night. He said, "I think we should change our date night to 2/7." I'd even asked him why! Then, he mentioned Aaron's bday. I then said something that'd probably shock the world, "So, we're going to sit around and mope the whole day and night?!"

Then, it hit me how mean of a comment that was to Dan, Aaron and myself, and I apologized and told Dan we'd change it to 2/7 or later. But, OMG! How could THAT have come out of my mouth????



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