my pity party -feeling so rotten, jobless

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jsu_work
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Re : my pity party -feeling so rotten, jobless

Postby jsu_work » Wed Jun 10, 2009 03:12 am

I'm a new nursing grad looking for a job as well. I called a hospital and I was told that there was only one job opened for a GN. I applied and I am hoping for an interview.
I don't know what to say except that you give me hope. It is strange to say that in light that you are having a difficult time with TTC and finding a job. But you went to nursing school in hopes of helping people like us. When I was pregnant I just wanted to find one person who could explain to me why I felt like I was so sick even though the tests were not completely coming out 'oh my god' you're sick.
As a graduate nurse with or without a job, you will have the unique ability to counsel as a mother you can counsel as well. The hard work that you put into that degree gives you honor. Sometimes it hard to recognize that although nursing (aka the job that often times deals with pooh, ungrateful patients, and worse the job that you can't find a job for..) is extremely challenging, being a nurse in and of itself is something to take pride in. You've made it this far. When your neighbors realize that you are a nurse you may get a ton of questions ranging from the common cold to my limbs are numb what do I do?
Although I am not religious. I just want to add in the next part because you say you are having a hard time praying. Jesus was a certified (or atleast I think of him as )Carpenter. Not a certified healer, rabbi, friend. Since jobs take forever and having children is even trickier. Just remember that being a nurse imparts much more then 'currently employed.'
Thank you for your hard work.

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rosemary
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Re : my pity party -feeling so rotten, jobless

Postby rosemary » Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:18 pm

Lisa, I sent you an e-mail.

lisainnj
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Re : my pity party -feeling so rotten, jobless

Postby lisainnj » Tue Jun 09, 2009 09:38 pm

Thanks, Rosemary. Temp, travel, per diem nursing all require experience. If I'd taken it slower and worked p/t as a tech or unit secretary I'd have an in; those seem to be the only new grads getting hired at all. I started applying for those positions but have no idea if they'll hire a nurse for those positions and what scares the heck out of me is I'm six months from graduation, that far out of clinical experience, and if the economy ever recovers they'll be looking at newer graduates.

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rosemary
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Re : my pity party -feeling so rotten, jobless

Postby rosemary » Tue Jun 09, 2009 08:08 pm

Lisa...I am so sorry for all that you are going through. You have worked incredibly hard to get your degree - your determination and what you have accomplished is amazing. I can only imagine how frustrating it is to be searching for work with the economy as tough as it is. As a thought, have you checked with a local temp agency - many positions are now filled through temporary or temp-to-hire agencies.

Good thoughts and my prayers are with you and your sweet Francesca -- (((HUGS)))

lisainnj
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my pity party -feeling so rotten, jobless

Postby lisainnj » Tue Jun 09, 2009 05:38 pm

After I lost Francesca, I wanted to protect other babies and women from PE. Really wanted to be an OB/GYN, knew family finances wouldn't allow it, didn't want to miss out on my living children growing up, thought of nurse-midwifery, went to nursing school, realized I wasn't emotionally up to handling pregnancy and birth, and no job opportunities for non-b/c prescribing Catholic anyway.

Liked ICU, had this identity planned out for when my children got big and left me. No jobs here for new nurses, I always handled rejection very badly, take it to heart, very personally. Nursing was supposed to be the job that was always in demand. Should be grateful that dh has his job, but that means can't move to where the job market is better.

Spent 2 1/2 years pursuing this dream, did it the accelerated and expensive way, passed up opportunities to ttc again, every cycle ticked by, better than before Francesca, and on the 3rd anniversary of her conception missed an ovulation, non-ovulatory cycles since. Hate getting old.

Year is marked by her conception, death, due date. I wanted to take my grief and transform it into something good, what could be salvaged, and I can't. No one wants a new nurse.

I don't even let myself miss her so much. Something is hardened and scarred in my soul now. I hardly pray. I feel like the mistress of bad timing, screw yourself timing. Why didn't I try for Francesca earlier, why couldn't I have gone to nursing school two years earlier, why didn't I take nursing slower and maybe ttc? My little girl asked how yesterday how much older she would have been than Francesca. At least she remembers...


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