Tired of loss...

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
annes
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Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2004 11:53 am

Re : Tired of loss...

Postby annes » Mon Apr 06, 2009 02:44 pm

Nikkole, I am so sorry that things did not turn out better for you on the marriage front, you sure deserve someone who treats you with respect and appreciates what an amazing person you are. Taking that step of filing must have been really hard, but it sounds like the right thing for you and Ethan. There is nothing wrong with you for needing a break every now and then, and you should have one, and I hope that you get some help soon. Hugs to you.

mada
Registered User
Posts: 4081
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2003 01:09 pm

Re : Tired of loss...

Postby mada » Mon Apr 06, 2009 02:13 pm

Sending you a giant hug> And not for one secod do you need to feel guilty about wanting a little breahter..that does not mean you don't love being at home with Ethan...all of us mommies need a break!! I am so sorry to hear about everything else as well. Take good care of yourself sweetie...

shelbys mom
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Posts: 483
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2003 07:10 pm

Re : Tired of loss...

Postby shelbys mom » Mon Apr 06, 2009 01:03 pm

Nikkole, I am sorry, I do not understand about losing a child, but I do understand about your husband not being there for you, that is why I am no longer married to Shelby's dad, email me if you would like, and we can chat more

Kim

mom2ella
Registered User
Posts: 238
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2007 07:38 pm

Tired of loss...

Postby mom2ella » Mon Apr 06, 2009 11:00 am

It's hitting me again. I hate this time of the year. Just need to recap. Since 2007 I've lost:

- My daughter at 3 weeks old
- The chance of ever having a healthy pregnancy
- My job
- The opportunity to bring a healthy child home directly from the hospital
- My husband
- My oldest sister at the age of 40

And most days it feels like I've lost my sanity. Ella's b-day is on May 10...and so is Mother's Day. I filed for a divorce today. My husband decided it was okay to have an affair while I was pregnant with Ethan. While I was waiting for Ethan to die like the doctors told me. While I sat at his bedside by myself for 9 months. While I continued to grieve my daughter and my sister. And on and on. Now I'm doing it on my own. I get out of the house maybe once or twice a week while he's out running around. He got to go out of town for the weekend...I can't even go to Walmart most of the time. Please don't get me wrong...there is nowhere I would rather be than home with Ethan, but when am I gonna catch a break??? No one understands losing Ella like her dad...but does he really? He hasn't been there for me in FOREVER. We planned Ethan. He apparently forgot to tell me he wasn't happy. Never even had a discussion about it. How can someone be so terrible?? I hate that their are people like him in the world.

Sorry, just needed to unload. Gonna go watch Ethan sleep now so I can regain my composure and smile. Please don't think I'm complaining about Ethan being home...there is nothing I want more. I'm just so overwhelmed and stressed. I can't believe I finally get my child home and now I've lost my husband. Seems cruel to me. Thanks for listening.



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