A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re : NEW

Postby kbunsey » Fri Jun 06, 638606 2:22 pm

Hello Carissa,
I am very sorry about your loss. The PF is a good place for you to find support and care. It is so difficult to have to answer questions and well-meaning people naturally will ask questions. I work with 100's of people in a really big school district and couldn't even imagine having to talk about what happened to me over and over again. I took some time to prepare what I wanted everyone to know about what happened and how I wanted to be treated when I returned to work and then I asked my closest friends/colleagues to help spread the word to other colleagues on the phone, in notes and e-mails. It worked pretty well. There was only one person, an evening daycare gal who wasn't in the message chain, so in the fall she asked how the baby was. By then I was better able to speak about what heppened and not have a melt down. This was very helpful in that everyone found out what happened, everyone knew to some degree how to be around me - what was helpful and what was not - and I received so much support without having to go over my situation again and again. Unfortunately, I borrowed this messagee idea from another friend of mine who had a s/b from non-PE related pregnancy complications. Maybe something like this could be helpful for you in getting the word out and letting people know how to be helpful without putting so much strain on yourself. Let people support you as much as you can. It might feel hard to ask but people want to help.

While you are grieving, be extra gentle toward yourself. Try not to judge your feelings, emotions and reactions. They will pass. You have been through a lot. Talk as much as you want or need to here on the PF. Take Care. ((Hugs))

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Re : NEW

Postby chemmer » Fri Jun 06, 638606 12:18 pm

Thank you everyone, I am blessed to of found a place where people understand what I am going through. even though that means that everyone had to expiernce such a tremendous loss:( your words and prayer give me comfort!

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Re : NEW

Postby brianned5 » Fri Jun 06, 638606 3:10 am

I am so aorry for your loss.

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Re : NEW

Postby annoited » Thu Jun 05, 638606 7:25 pm

Carissa ~ I'm very sorry you had to lose your son to this horrible disease called PE.. Words cant explain how sorry i am. It's very tough thinking about it that you lost him at 32weeks. I also lost my daughter last year at 23weeks.. much younger than your son.. My PE was very severe and sudden as well and she had to be delivered via c-section the same day i went for a doc's appointment.

You have joined the perfect forum... I pray you are able to find hope in the Lord. My prayers are def with your family and i pray that time will surely heal this pain.. I cant tell you for sure that time does heal like they say but i know the pain does get better with time.

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Re : NEW

Postby lisad » Thu Jun 05, 638606 10:08 am

Carissa--I am so sorry for the loss of your son. It is incredibly hard to think that everything is going fine only to find out something went terribly wrong somewhere. Though my experience is a little different, I too did not have any warning symptoms of PE. I went in for my 28 week check up and even had a whole blood work up done---no signs of PE at all. Two weeks later I woke up to cramping and then tons of blood and my daughter was gone. I delivered her the next day--my PE was so sudden and severe there was nothing to be done for her--she was already gone by the time I got the hospital. I now have hypertension (my BP never went down enough after she was delievered) and I am on some heavy duty BP meds.

It is hard to deal with everyone asking the dreaded question. I say just answer what you can--I found it hard to talk about it right after it happened but some time has gone by and it is not so hard anymore to discuss my ordeal--especially since I have found this forum and can talk and post and everyone here knows the pain of what I went through. Post here as much as you want and need to--everyone here is incredibly supportive and so kind and it is nice to know that you are not alone. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts

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Re : NEW

Postby rosemary » Mon May 26, 638606 3:15 am

Carissa, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Ethan. Returning to work and having to explain or answer questions can be so incredibly hard. My advice for handling the questions, just answer what you are most comfortable with. To answer your question about PE, it can happen postpartum.

I found this site and the forum after my loss. The wonderful ladies here were so kind and supportive. Please feel free to post as often as you like -we're here for you. Wishing you peace.

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Postby chemmer » Sun May 25, 638606 9:45 pm


Everyone I am new to this site and I wish that I would of found everyone before I decided to conceive even though that may not have changed anything. I had my DD Michayla now 4.5 years old at 26 weeks due to severe PE. Since then I became Pregnant and Lost my DS Ethan at 32 weeks. I had not BP issues or any signs of PE. I went for my 32 weeks ck and said that I was not feeling as much movement. Since I only got to 26 weeks before I did not know what to expect. I found out that Ethan had passes and they did that delivery that night 1/20/09 by c-section. (I have a T incision from last one). All of my lab came back normal no protein or any preeclampsia symptoms this time. just slightly elevated bp at the 1/20/09 visit and the Stillbirth. The dr. said I had A-typical preeclampsia were the disease starts to progress after the baby dies. My BP did keep rising after deliver and I was sent home on BP meds for a couple weeks. Has anyone else had this "A-Typical Preeclampsia". I have never heard of it.

I just went back to work today and it was harder then I thought. I just felt like everyone was looking at my stomach and the Cafeteria lady was like oh you had you baby congrats. ( I can understand why she would notice because I was in there litterally 3 times a day breakfast lumch and snack, lol) But I did not know what to say I said I did but he was still born. I am not sure how to respond to people when they say "did you have your baby"? My Schedeuled C-section date was for March 9. I have 4 cousins that were pregnant with me and my one cousin and I were due 1 day apart. it's really hard Ethan was 2 15 ounces 16 1/4 inches long and the doctor said that his color was nice and pink that he passed 24-48 hours before. I swear I felt kicking and movement but the doctor said that it was probably my uterus contracting and moving him around. I feel sick thinking aboout it. sorry for such a long post but I have been keeping all this inside for 6 weeks.

Carissa 27
DH( 25)
DH Michayla 06/25/04- born 26 weeks Severe PE 1 lb 7 oz 13 inches long. healthy 4.5 year old. 75% for height and 50% for weight.
DS Ethan 01/20/09-Born 32 weeks PE.

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