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[debbie78]

Carissa,

I am so sorry that you have had to find your way here. With time, it will get easier-- I don't know that I can honestly say it gets better, but easier, yes. Be kind to yourself-- and the reaction you had to your co-worker is completely normal. My best friend found out she was pregnant-- with a girl-- about 16 months or so after my daughter was born still and I just couldn't take it. And it had been 16 months (or more). BIG, BIG Hugs coming your way. I'm so sorry.

I always find it makes me feel the best to acknowledge Sophie's birth & her death-- it's easier to do so now that it's been longer. When people ask how many kids I have, I say 2. When they ask how old, I say, Rylie is 5 1/2 and Sophie would have turned 2 in December. They typically don't ask anything more, but if they do, I tell them. After she was born, if anyone commented that I had had the baby, I said yes, I did, but she was born straight into heaven on her due date.

Oh, I do want to comment on the late onset PE-- I never had an "official" dx of PE. PIH and Placental Insufficiency are the "official" causes of Sophie's death-- but after I delivered her, my BP shot up to 160s/110s and didn't come down-- I was put on BP meds about 2 weeks after she was born (still no dx of PE-- they labled me as chronic hypertensive, which I believe was premature...). I've been off meds for a year now and bp has been fine.

[laila08]

Carissa i too fell the same as you in so many ways. My due date was April 8 2009 and i delivered my precious Laila Dec 8. I am a teacher and i dreaded returning to work fearing all the questions my students were going to ask. They were so tuned into my pregnancy i even had started to receive gifts from parents. Considering that everything happened so fast there are still a lot of people you dont know that our baby passed away. So when asked the question or hear the statement (Oh you had the baby where is she) i still cant answer after 3 months. Its hard but as time goes on we will find a way to answers the questions. I will be praying for you and your family. We will get through this in time our hearts will heal. God bless you!

[wrennie]

Im late as well, but sending you big hugs. I am so sorry for your loss.

I lost Elodie in very quickly as well at 31 weeks. I did have some symptoms right before the placenta abrupted, including a severe headache and not being able to pee. But, that was it. Not until after delivery did PE really begin, elevated BP extreme swelling and low platelets. It took a few weeks for it all to settle back down. The warning signs for me were very little, until it was too late.

My heart goes out to you and your family. May you find comfort here on these forums where the ladies truly understand your pain and can help you work through the hard times.

[melissam]

Carissa,

I am a bit late here, but I am so sorry to hear of your loss. That is just heartbreaking. I think we all know exactly how you feel about other pregnant women. It really is hard to see them all and not have that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. I am so sorry you had to join our sad little group.

I hope you find a little comfort and peace soon. Many hugs.

[chemmer]

Thank you everyone! work has been easier then I thought at times. I just feel so uncomfortable arounbd pregnant women. There is this women at my work and her cube is about 10 feel from mine. She is 7 Months pregnant. When I had Ethan on 1/20 I do not remember her being pregnant but that was over 6 weeks ago. The day I got back I noticed her big belly and she was walking in as I was walking out and I smiled and said I didn't know you were pregant in a uncomfortable fake smile. She said she was 7 Months and I didn't know what to say so I asked do you know what you are having. she said a BOY. my heart sank and I wanted to run away and cry. but I smiled and said congratulations. its not that I am not Happy for people that are pregnant it just hurts so much to see these women with the big bellies and they get there babies and I do not get my son nor do i get to have Healthy fullterm babies. my daughter Michayla 4.5 was born at 26 weeks do to PE and I am so greatful that she is healthy. I did everything I was suppose to do. eat right, excercised relaxed. my sister smoked like a chimney with all of her pregnanys and drank mt. dew like it was water. she had a healhty babies almost 8lbs. she did have a misscarraige at 8 weeks with the 3rd, the doctor said that it may have been that she got pregnant too soon she found out she was pregnant about 3 months after she had my niece. I was so sad for her but I could not understand why she was so emotional and had anxiety and did not want to be alone and would always talk about the baby and that it was to be a boy. it was just a miscarriage. well her baby was not just a miscarriage he was a baby intended to be born out of love. now I know what she was going through even though I wish I didn't.

[lisainnj]

Carissa, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your little Ethan. What a beautiful name you gave him.

You will find much support here from women who are walking that road.

[isabella]

Carissa,


I am so sorry for the loss of Ethan. I struggled so much also when I returned to work after the loss of Isabella. Ladies from other offices next to us will ask me all the time: how is your baby doing? how old is your baby now?. I didn't know how to react. I agree with the other posts, try to gentle on yourself while your are grieving for the loss of your baby. Please remember we are here for you when you need to express your feelings.


HUGS

[suleaf]

Carissa I am so sorry. So sad that you lost Ethan....

This forum is probably the only place I really talk about my Mira.... it's never easy to explain.... it will take time and the worst was going back to work and explaining or dealing with everyone there.

It's ok to have all this be so hard. I have always felt ever since like I lost a huge part of myself and it took me a long time to come to terms with that feeling.

[joker]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Ethan. I still struggle with explaining to people what happened to Abby. I am not sure if it ever gets easier, but this forum has offered me the support I needed and I hope it will for you too.

[sam]

carissa i am so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious boy ethan