DH had a breakdown

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
mrs.magdaleno
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Re : DH had a breakdown

Postby mrs.magdaleno » Thu Jul 24, 2008 03:01 pm

I am so sorry you and your dh have to be on this journey of grief.

I will say that counseling has helped us tremendously. It has been almost 3 years since we lost our precious boy and we still have our moments of breakdown. I think it is healthy. There are several people around us who are having babies and it seems to have sent me into a depression. I am happy for all of them but I too wonder if I will ever know what it will be like to have a baby with us. We have decided to try again next year but it doesn't make it easier.

(((HUGS)))

lisainnj
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Re : DH had a breakdown

Postby lisainnj » Fri Jul 18, 2008 09:41 pm

I am sorry the two of you are going through such hard times. Prayers and hugs.

neslo
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Re : DH had a breakdown

Postby neslo » Tue Jul 15, 2008 06:26 am

Amber - Have you and your husband sought out a grief support group? My husband really responded to that. He met other fathers and got the chance to talk to them about how they felt and reacted. It really helped him realize that he wasn't alone.

Hearing about pregnancy and new babies has become a very bittersweet for my husband and I. I am very, very happy for each of my friends and family members who have a healthy baby. But at the same time it makes both of us very, very sad because we are reminded of how much we miss our daughter. I wish I could tell you that I had found a way to overcome those feelings. Please know that you are not alone. We are all here for you to lean on.

shellysmomdad
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Re : DH had a breakdown

Postby shellysmomdad » Tue Jul 15, 2008 01:35 am

Amber,
Very sorry to read of the difficult time you and DH are going through. We offer our support to you. From one Iowan to another, we wish you strength & wellness. Take care.

John (and Brenda)

for faith
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Re : DH had a breakdown

Postby for faith » Mon Jul 14, 2008 06:32 pm

Thinking of you Amber and your husband. This is all so unfair and I so understand the bitter sweetness in seeing new babies. Wish you so much peace as you decide your family.

I too had PE with my first and then severe with my daughter (not as early as you, but still early) and never imagined I could have a pregancy without it, just praying it was later - but ended up with no PE at all with my 2nd son (so it can happen). This is all so hard, take care.

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rosemary
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Re : DH had a breakdown

Postby rosemary » Mon Jul 14, 2008 06:29 pm

Amber, I am so sorry for what you and your DH are going through. You must both be wonderfully compassionate people to be able to share in someone else's happiness after losing your precious Chance. I do understand what you mean about being able to handle your grief, and then bam, you get blind-sided. It's simply not fair.

Is there a possibility that some counseling, or perhaps meeting with other couples in a like situation might help? I know that it's not the answer for everyone, but just a thought.

You will both be in my thoughts and prayers as you face the days ahead. Sending you many hugs and wishing you peace.

sckitzo
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DH had a breakdown

Postby sckitzo » Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:08 am

It has been 1 1/2 since we had and lost our son. For the most part we are doing alright with our grieving process. One of our struggles has always been watching others get pregnant and have great outcomes. We are always very happy for them, and congragulate them when we can, but it always remind's us of what we may never have again or never really had. This last year and a half have been very difficult, not only beacause of our loss, but we had to endure seeing, 3 Friends having miscarrages, one Tubal pregnancy, one sids loss at 9 weeks old, one stillborn at 26 weeks(turners syndrom), this is not including the other countless stories I have heard from this website, and getting involved with the March of Dimes. We have dealt with this the best we can but what seems to be hitting both of us the worst so far is seeeing our best Friends get pregnant again; She was due with her dd on the same day I was due with Chance, So almost everyday we are reminded (almost to the day) how old Chance should be, what he should be doing, It is hard to see her grow up so fast, and know that our son should be here playing, with her. Now she is pregnant again, this time with a boy, Everything is perfect witch is great, but it is really affecting my hubby, he is very depressed now, just has a feeling of impending doom, not over the baby, but I think more over his reaction when the baby comes. She is due in 5 weeks and looking very pregnancy this of course this is a very harsh reminder of her bundle of joy. We are SOOOO happy for them, and we will love this child like we do any other, it is just such a reminder of how much we have lost.

We lost our son, we lost our innocense(thinking nothing could go wrong) we lost our ability to have a care free pregnancy, we lost Maybe our a ability to ever have another pregnancy, we lost the Family we always wanted, We have our daughter, but we have always wanted more children, we lost our ability to just be happy for all our joyfully happy prengant friends there is always some jealuosy there. I think my husband realized that he may never get the LIVING son he wanted.

My hubby just brokedown this weekend, just dreading the birth of this baby boy. Now I am upset to, I have always held out hope that one day we may be foolish enough to try again, and that this my make him think about tring again,(right now it is still out of the question) but I don't want to get my hopes up, just to be let down again.

I am not sure what I can do to comfort him. I am very depressed too lately, I was hoping to be pregnant again in two year witch is getting alot closer. But are no closer to considering it. All the doctors say, you have a 50/50 chance of getting PE, which could not make the decision any harder. Plus I am still on Depo so it would be at least a year before we could get pregnant again. For the most part our grief has gotten eaiser to handle then this comes wipes us out again.


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