My heart isn't listening

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re : My heart isn't listening

Postby kathyc » Mon Sep 11, 637684 6:20 am

Thanks so much to all of you. I think I am trying to find a way to make the loss seem painful to myself, and to protect the people I love from the worst of it. But the truth is, it just plain hurts. And like I said at the beginning of this post, it isn't working anyway. I went ahead and made a little memory box with the few keepsakes I have. That helped some. I got an ornament for the tree of an angel embracing a baby. And I found a line of jewelry online with silver "beans" so I got a ring for myself. I can't wait for it to come in. (I wanted to name the baby Aidan, but "Butterbean" is what we had all been using as a nickname.)

Today was the first day that I had moments where I wasn't thinking about the baby. I have only cried once today (so far). So maybe this is the beginning of things getting better. I don't know. I am so glad to have these forums to come to. Thanks for listening and understanding. It means more to me than words can say.

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Re : My heart isn't listening

Postby annes » Sat Sep 09, 637684 10:17 pm

Kathy, I am just seeing this now, I've been away from my computer. I had a miscarriage at 14 weeks, 2 years ago now. I still am so sad when I think of my little sweetpea. Time has helped me, and I hope it will help you, too. Do what you need to do to get through this time, this is not something to be taken lightly. I hope you have a peaceful holiday.

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Re : My heart isn't listening

Postby froggie89 » Thu Aug 17, 637684 4:50 am


I totally agree with the other ladies - a loss is a loss. I am sorry for your loss and the pain and heartache. I hope that you will find some peace soon. Keeping you in thought and prayer. Hugs...

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julie f
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Re : My heart isn't listening

Postby julie f » Thu Aug 17, 637684 12:57 am


Whether we get to hold our child in our arms or only in our hearts, a loss is a loss and it is devestating, life changing. I am so very sorry for what you have been through.

Much love,

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Re : My heart isn't listening

Postby melissam » Wed Aug 16, 637684 10:49 pm

Kathy, I agree with everyone else on here. You still had a loss and that is just heart breaking. You lost your dreams just as we did. This is normal and we will be here for you as you continue to grieve this loss.

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Re : My heart isn't listening

Postby darcynulph » Mon Aug 07, 637684 7:40 pm

Your feeling are very normal, please know that a lot of us have been where you are at today. I was in your place in September and I had a very hard time the first month and as time goes by it does get a little easier. Just please know we are here for you. (((HUGS)))

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Re : My heart isn't listening

Postby belle8600 » Mon Aug 07, 637684 2:19 pm

kathy, a loss is a loss just like everyone said. i am so sorry for yours. i know exactly how you feel about your heard saying one thing and your mind telling you something different. i decded to listen to my heart in ttc again. i feel like i need to try. my brain keeps reminding me of everything that happened, but my heart out weighs it. you are strong and we will help you through this

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Re : My heart isn't listening

Postby robertmyangel » Mon Aug 07, 637684 8:47 am


I am so sorry that you are going through this [:(]... I think that the ladies above have givin you some really heart spoken words. No loss is less than another, we all are grieving for the future, and now we have to take care of ourselves so that we can go on with this new normal.

Please know that I am thinking of you, and sending you big (((hugs)))

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Re : My heart isn't listening

Postby timelessbeauty » Mon Aug 07, 637684 3:08 am

I have to agree with Denise. A loss is a loss no matter how long you carried and/or beyond. There is a numbness that sets in with the shock of loss that seems to have to wear off before the pain is felt. The sharpness seems to dull a bit over time I have found but the memory never goes away.

I am so sorry for your loss. I pray you continue to find comfort and support as we enter and work through the holidays.

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Re : My heart isn't listening

Postby jana m » Mon Aug 07, 637684 2:55 am

I have to agree with Denise and Lisa. Don't minimize what you have lost and the pain you are feeling. It doesn't matter how early, it was still your child and your future. Grieve however you need to and we will be here to support you through it.

Thinking of you....

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