Sometimes it's just easier than others

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
gilma
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Re : Sometimes it's just easier than others

Postby gilma » Mon Nov 13, 2006 11:22 am

Thank you all for you kind words and thoughts. It seems the road to this, the first anniversary or birthday or angel day....i don't know what I want to call it, will be a long one. The sadness comes over me in nice long waves. Much like I imagine contractions would be had I ever had any. It's very comforting to know that I belong to such a strong beautiful group of volunteers that selflessly put themselves out there to hold others up.
We're planning a big celebration for his day. I think we might even do some fundraising to benefit the PF. I'll post a new topic about it soon.
Lots of hugs ladies.

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rosemary
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Re : Sometimes it's just easier than others

Postby rosemary » Fri Nov 10, 2006 06:27 pm

Dawn,

I am so very sorry for how you feel. I wish that each of us who didn't have that much needed time could go back and have that time. I know that the hurt of our losses would still exist, but perhaps we'd have a bit more peace. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

froggie89
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Re : Sometimes it's just easier than others

Postby froggie89 » Wed Nov 08, 2006 07:56 pm

Oh Dawn, I'm sorry for your pain and loss. The holidays are rough, just as anniversaries are. Even though I was on mag, I do remember holding Alexander and saying over and over how I loved his cute baby nose and his long fingers. I got to hold him for a long time because his nurse was so wonderful. I just wish I had seen his toes, his little legs, all that. I didn't think to ask if I could. I think we all wish we could have had more time with our little ones and we relive those moments we did have over and over. It just helps us keep them close in our hearts and minds. I'll be thinking of you. Hugs and love being sent your way.

mrs.magdaleno
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Re : Sometimes it's just easier than others

Postby mrs.magdaleno » Wed Nov 08, 2006 01:32 pm

Dawn,
I know there will never be enough time. We were cheated out of a lifetime with our babies. I often think of all the things I would have done differently had I had the chance to go back to that day. I would have taken more pictures and looked at every single inch of his body. I wouldn't have been afraid to kiss him all over. I told my dh that in some way I felt like he wasn't ours but that he was the hospital's baby.

Have you heard of Jakob's Room? I heard about it on the Today Show. They featured a woman who lost three babies and then her nurse was her surrogate for her three other children. Well when she lost her last child, Jakob, the hospital she was in let her and her family spend as much time with their son as they needed. She was so grateful for that time that she decided to start a project where all hospitals give their patients/family extra time with their babies to grieve and say goodbye. Here is the link to the website. http://www.trustingthejourney.com/

daltonsmommy
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Re : Sometimes it's just easier than others

Postby daltonsmommy » Wed Nov 08, 2006 11:07 am

I too wish I could go back and spend a little more time. I keep thinking maybe I should have went to the NICU more often. But in the end we never thought he wouldn't make it. When they brought him to me after he passed I keep thinking I should have held him a little longer. But I was in such shock. In the end no matter how long we would have held our little ones it will never seem like enough. I could have spent every single waking moment with him and it still wouldn't seem like enough. Hugs

Charity

belle8600
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Re : Sometimes it's just easier than others

Postby belle8600 » Wed Nov 08, 2006 09:36 am

Dawn,
i am so sorry for your loss. isabella was supposed to be born on Dec.22 and i dont know how i will face that day. dh and i planned to go away for the holidays becuse she was supposed to be there with us and it wont be the same. i too wish i spent more time with her and not on the drugs. i wish you peace and comfort in your time of need.
hugs

robertmyangel
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Re : Sometimes it's just easier than others

Postby robertmyangel » Tue Nov 07, 2006 06:09 pm

Dawn,

I am so sorry that you couldn't be with baby Grayson a little longer, I know how hard it is to remember all the details, being shocked on Mag and not being able to speak up for yourself. I know that there is nothing that I can say to make your heart feel whole again, or to make your arms stop aching. I am thinking of you as baby Grayson's Angel day gets closer, please know that we are all here to support you, and thank you for thinking of us, and sharing your thoughts with us. Sending you really big hugs.

fiona
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Re : Sometimes it's just easier than others

Postby fiona » Tue Nov 07, 2006 02:58 pm

Dawn, my heart goes out to you. I also go back and try and stretch the pitifully short time I had with my son. I wish you peace in the coming weeks; the Holidays are a hard time to get through without our children.

for faith
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Re : Sometimes it's just easier than others

Postby for faith » Tue Nov 07, 2006 02:56 pm

Thank you Dawn for sharing, I so understand those feelings (tears here too). I so want some of those moments back too, to be with her a little longer and not in a fog. Thank you for wishing us peace, I wish you peace too as his day approaches. Sending hugs......

raspbeari
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Re : Sometimes it's just easier than others

Postby raspbeari » Tue Nov 07, 2006 02:03 pm

Dawn, I am so sorry that you didn't have more time with your son Grayson. I have never cried so hard as when reading your post, your words touched me so deeply. Thank you for pouring your heart out to us.

Barbara


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