in need of encouragement

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
first time
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Re : in need of encouragement

Postby first time » Wed Oct 11, 2006 09:03 pm

i know its hard. i just lost my baby at 25 weeks . i had the opinion of a c-section or induction. i chose induction and 13 hours later. i had a still born baby due to severe pe and elevated liver enz. i too wanted to keep her in as long as possible . my life was at risk. i was so sick. i miss my baby everyday. i held her in my arms. and she was perfect in everyway. she had IUGR- only at a 22 weeks measurements. [V] i only tried to get pregnant for 3 years and finally got pregnant and this happened. i too felt cursed because me and my husband want a family together. but its no curse it's all in Gods planning just have faith in yourself and him and dont give up[:D]
in loving memory of Genesis 9/23/06 @25weeks IUGR ,severe pe
you will never be forgotten

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Re : in need of encouragement

Postby akemt » Wed Oct 11, 2006 07:19 pm

Thank you for taking the time to share your experience with me while in such turmoil yourself. I am so sorry about the experiences you've had...and even more sorry that you feel guilt about it, though I know that is common. Sending my thoughts and prayers your way--

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Re : in need of encouragement

Postby lalam17 » Wed Oct 11, 2006 01:27 pm

Lisa, thanks for your words. I know that the miscarraige had nothing to do with PE, but it was very frustrating and discouraging losing another child. I have to say that I have an absolutely wonderful OB. I work and am cared for at a major university hospital with excellent drs. Over 70% of our deliveries are considered high risk, due to PE or other reasons. I have always been cared for by specialists. My doctor and I made the decision together to forgo general anesthesia. It has a 17x increased risk of mortality in pregnant women vs. others. Also, I was unfortunately on call and needed to keep my head clear in case I couldn't find another Dr. to cover for me. Luckily, I was able to find help and didn't have to go back to work. The pain was very intense, but it was over quickly. I hated being unconscious for Jackson, and would have preferred to have experienced the physical pain for the opportunity to meet my little boy. I know this miscarraige experience was very different. I'm glad it is over.

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Re : in need of encouragement

Postby jodlb » Wed Oct 11, 2006 01:11 pm

So very sorry for your losses. My heart breaks for you. Prayers for comfot and healing being sent your way!

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Re : in need of encouragement

Postby lisainnj » Wed Oct 11, 2006 12:39 am

LMLS, I am so very sorry for the loss of your little boy and your little angel baby. I pray you and your husband will be granted a living healthy child some day. After a year of secondary infertility, I had two late-ish miscarriages (one baby died at 13 1/2 weeks, cause unknown, the other at 10 weeks because of Downs') and still went on to have a healthy baby. There is hope.

No, you will never have a naive, unworried pregnancy. But of the women I have seen posting here (of course I haven't seen them all), only one lost babies in two pregnancies to this disease. Preeclampsia occurs most often in the first pregnancy, and you are likely to escape it entirely, or if you have it at all, to have it more mildly. There is not only hope, but reason to hope.

Your experience with preeclampsia reads very much like mine. In the hospital at 20 weeks, blood pressure uncontrolled by Labetalol, platelets dropping, liver problems, being told after three days that they could not keep me alive long enough to give the baby any chance at all. No Caesarian because of the bleeding risk. A great shock, disbelief - I didn't know preeclampsia could be this bad - I thought they would be dosing me up and keeping me on bedrest.

Unlike you, I had labor induced with misoprostol. I could feel my baby kicking for a few hours after the doctor put the tablets in. She was stillborn. I suffered guilt then and do now. The induction took only about nine hours until delivery. There was no pushing, no strain, only contractions. I just lay there and she came out. Where my case differs, I was about ten days earlier in pregnancy and had four previous full-term births, and probably had somewhat lower blood pressure.

I read up on this a bit and it seems that this is an area where doctors are of different opinions - some will say that induced labor is safest, and some will say that a D&E is safest. It may well be more a matter of doctor rather than patient. You were in a terrible, vulnerable position when you lost Jackson with no time to research and choose but it might well be something to look into now.

It troubles me that you had to endure a terribly painful curretage after your second loss. Did they not offer you general anesthesia? You were suffering emotionally already - I wish you had been spared physical pain as well. I had a D&C under general anesthesia after my second loss and a very caring doctor and hospital staff. It mattered greatly.

You need time to heal in body and spirit after your losses. To me, after my first miscarriage, it seemed like the only thing that would ever heal me was another baby - so I got pregnant immediately and lost another. After that, I took time to heal and see what I could endure, and plan for my care. You need to be under the care of a specialist in preeclampsia for your next pregnancy and one who cares for more than just your body. And God forbid this should ever happen to you again, but ask exactly what the doctor would do in such a case, what the hospital policies are.

May you have peace and consolation.

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Re : in need of encouragement

Postby aaronsmommy » Wed Oct 11, 2006 09:03 am

I am so sorry to hear of both your losses. Very glad to hear that you are ok. Preeclampsia is just awful. Lots of hugs to you and your husband.

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Re : in need of encouragement

Postby pixie323 » Wed Oct 11, 2006 06:36 am

I'm so sorry that you had to go through what you've been through. I read your story and looked at the date you lost your little son and my heart broke. I had my little girl in June. Possible the same day, if you are in America (day behind Australia). I can't give you a postive story or encouragement. My high risk OBs told me to wait for at least 6 months before trying again as I had a c-section, like you guys, I can't wait to have a family. I've been with my DH for over 10 years and been married for nearly 6 1/2 years. We are so ready to fill our house up with kids, I just pray that God will one day bless us with some.

I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking and praying for you. I hope that when you both try again, God gives you a little one to keep!


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Re : in need of encouragement

Postby lucy21 » Wed Oct 11, 2006 00:22 am

Hello and welcome,
I am so very, very sorry for your losses. What a horrible, unfair disease PE is and it makes me just so angry when I read posts such as yours and I can almost feel your grief through reading your words.
I can't understand your pain as I fortunately haven't lost a child, but please know that I send you my prayers and thoughts and hope that you find some peace by talking with others who can relate to your experience here at this wonderful site.
Take care, Love Lucy X

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Re : in need of encouragement

Postby froggie89 » Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:40 pm


I'm sorry for your losses. My heart is breaking that another mom has lost their sweet child to this terrible disease. While I am glad that you have found the forums, I'm sad that you are joining our group. All of the ladies on the forum are wonderful, supportive and just the best. We'll be here for you through this sad journey.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Take care and many hugs and much love to you...

for faith
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Re : in need of encouragement

Postby for faith » Tue Oct 10, 2006 06:01 pm

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your son and your little angel. So sorry for the experiences you have had to go through :( I had a loss at 11wks (missed m/c with a D&C) and my daughter born at 30wks (I was on mag 2 days before she was born and they couldn't wait any longer) and she passed due to preemie complications.

I'm sure being a dr. must help and hurt you. You understand so much more of the medical information, but you know what can happen too.

I had all the testing too, with nothing. I had mild PE and then severe and then went on to have a wonderful pregnancy, with only PIH, a full term pregnancy. It can happen (really didn't think it could), but it is a very hard decision to make to try.

I so understand looking at others (especially ones that seem undeserving) and not understanding........

You and your husband are in my thoughts, I hope that you can find some peace. This is a great forum, I hope you find it helpful in your journey.

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