Why must Decisons be so hard to make......

[glimmer]

Hi Alissa,
do you have to decide now? It seems that you are still very young and can decide over the next years, maybe when the little ones you have are in school? I consider getting an IUD which is very safe, but reversable. My husband doesn't want any children, but I am not ready to do something irreversable. Having said that, it's really everybody's own decision to make.
Good luck!

[alexa5]

I definitely would have tried again in the case of a loss. I know that because I had a miscarriage in my pregnancy before my son and it made me very determined to have a child. I guess the loss made it all so realistic and it suddenly became very important to me to have a baby. That said if we would have had multiple losses or other issues I would have given up and decided it wasn't meant to be.

[caryn]

Jean, I really don't know. The experience of losing a child to this disease is so very different from the experience of a case where everyone walks away that I can't pretend to be in those shoes.

[jenmatt1]

It was not an easy decision for us to try having a 2nd. Then we had 2 miscarriages- one in 2nd trimester. After that I was even more unsure. Even though our 1st was healthy and a 34 1/2 weeker, I still feared it. Honestly, I think it would have been easier for me to decide to have one if we had lost the 1st because I wanted to be a mom. Having a healthy child made it difficult for me to choose because I did not want to my health at risk for the sake of having another baby. I was worried that something would happen to me and my daughter would be affected by that. And I was worried that if I had a live birth for 2nd about whether the 2nd baby would have lingering health issues that would affect my daughter's life.

With that being said- I will be 36 weeks with this pregnancy on Tuesday. I decided when I found out I was pregnant this time that it would be our last try no matter what the outcome. I didn't think emotionally or physcially I could handle another pregnancy if I lost this one and if we were successful, I was not willing to put myself at risk for another pregnancy. So this time around, I have tried to enjoy the experience as much as possible- with a lot of worry of course. But I am happy we have this shot.

[jean]

Alexa and Caryn...if your little one hadn't made it, would you have tried a second time?

[alexa5]

The fact that part of you wants another child is a good sign. I have decided that I really feel comfortable with one, for many reasons. I don't really yearn for another infant or having more children, but I like the one I have

I am not sure how bad your pre-e was, but if it were me personally and I wanted another child, I wouldn't not have one because of pre-e. In my case it really wasn't too bad...it came fairly suddenly at 33 weeks, so my best guess is that I would get it again, but hopefully after 33 weeks if I were to be pregnant again. That said what I worry about is that I came out of this pregnancy okay once my pressures settled, and I would worry that another pregnancy would bring health concerns that might stick around the next time around.

It really is a hard decision...both to decide if you want another and if you want another with the risk of pre-e....good luck!

[caryn]

I am really no help whatsoever on this one. Oscar's eight and I never did make the leap to have another. Not because I don't really like babies and children and raising children, but because I really, really never came to terms with deciding to run the sorts of risks a subsequent pregnancy presents for someone else. I knew *I'd* be fine -- and my 34 weeker is perfectly fine -- but that's not a great way to figure out how things would go next time, and absent a crystal ball I find that I balk at a subsequent pregnancy.

But that's me, and other people make other decisions that they are comfortable making. And the vast majority of our posters have subsequent pregnancies and very healthy babies. Good luck thinking about this!

[mommy2maddie]

I do not know what to do......to have another baby or not. My husband does not particularly want another child but if I want one then he will be okay with that, he wants to get a vasectomy either now or after I have another baby. Our house is small, we have 3 bedrooms so baby would be sharing a small room with a sibling, which we could do if we had to. It is like on one end I cannot imagine never being pregnant again, but then I cannot imagine having to go through PE with two children at home. I cannot imagine never rocking a little baby again, but then I cannot imagine rocking a little baby for hours hoping he or she will fall asleep. I am so torn! Advice much needed!!!