Why must Decisons be so hard to make......

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glimmer
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Re: Why must Decisons be so hard to make......

Postby glimmer » Tue Dec 14, 2010 03:23 pm

Hi Alissa,
do you have to decide now? It seems that you are still very young and can decide over the next years, maybe when the little ones you have are in school? I consider getting an IUD which is very safe, but reversable. My husband doesn't want any children, but I am not ready to do something irreversable. Having said that, it's really everybody's own decision to make.
Good luck!

alexa5
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Re: Why must Decisons be so hard to make......

Postby alexa5 » Mon Dec 13, 2010 07:36 am

I definitely would have tried again in the case of a loss. I know that because I had a miscarriage in my pregnancy before my son and it made me very determined to have a child. I guess the loss made it all so realistic and it suddenly became very important to me to have a baby. That said if we would have had multiple losses or other issues I would have given up and decided it wasn't meant to be.

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caryn
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Re: Why must Decisons be so hard to make......

Postby caryn » Mon Dec 13, 2010 07:08 am

Jean, I really don't know. The experience of losing a child to this disease is so very different from the experience of a case where everyone walks away that I can't pretend to be in those shoes.
Science! The articles you don't want to miss:
The Preeclampsia Puzzle (New Yorker) and Silent Struggle: A New Theory of Pregnancy (New York Times)
Looking for recent articles and studies?
A chance to participate in research? For us on Facebook or Twitter?

Caryn, @carynjrogers, who is not a doctor and who talks about science stuff *way* too much
DS Oscar born by emergent C-section at 34 weeks for fetal indicators, due to severe PE
DD Bridget born by C-section after water broke at 39 weeks after a healthy pregnancy

jenmatt1
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Re: Why must Decisons be so hard to make......

Postby jenmatt1 » Sun Dec 12, 2010 07:16 pm

It was not an easy decision for us to try having a 2nd. Then we had 2 miscarriages- one in 2nd trimester. After that I was even more unsure. Even though our 1st was healthy and a 34 1/2 weeker, I still feared it. Honestly, I think it would have been easier for me to decide to have one if we had lost the 1st because I wanted to be a mom. Having a healthy child made it difficult for me to choose because I did not want to my health at risk for the sake of having another baby. I was worried that something would happen to me and my daughter would be affected by that. And I was worried that if I had a live birth for 2nd about whether the 2nd baby would have lingering health issues that would affect my daughter's life.

With that being said- I will be 36 weeks with this pregnancy on Tuesday. I decided when I found out I was pregnant this time that it would be our last try no matter what the outcome. I didn't think emotionally or physcially I could handle another pregnancy if I lost this one and if we were successful, I was not willing to put myself at risk for another pregnancy. So this time around, I have tried to enjoy the experience as much as possible- with a lot of worry of course. But I am happy we have this shot.
Mom to Olivia 4/4/2008 born at 34 1/2 weeks due to class I HELLP
Declan born 1/4/2011- no HELLP or PE- YEAH

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jean
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Re: Why must Decisons be so hard to make......

Postby jean » Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:51 am

Alexa and Caryn...if your little one hadn't made it, would you have tried a second time?
Our first son was born and passed in Feb of 2010. Born at 29 weeks due to HELLP and passed due to NEC. We miss him every day. :~(

Our second son was born at 39 weeks gestation in Nov of 2011. No HELLP or pre-e! Took LDA starting at week 12 and went off of it at week 38!

http://findingtherainbowconnection.blogspot.com/

alexa5
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Re: Why must Decisons be so hard to make......

Postby alexa5 » Thu Dec 09, 2010 07:16 am

The fact that part of you wants another child is a good sign. I have decided that I really feel comfortable with one, for many reasons. I don't really yearn for another infant or having more children, but I like the one I have :-)

I am not sure how bad your pre-e was, but if it were me personally and I wanted another child, I wouldn't not have one because of pre-e. In my case it really wasn't too bad...it came fairly suddenly at 33 weeks, so my best guess is that I would get it again, but hopefully after 33 weeks if I were to be pregnant again. That said what I worry about is that I came out of this pregnancy okay once my pressures settled, and I would worry that another pregnancy would bring health concerns that might stick around the next time around.

It really is a hard decision...both to decide if you want another and if you want another with the risk of pre-e....good luck!

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caryn
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Re: Why must Decisons be so hard to make......

Postby caryn » Wed Dec 08, 2010 04:43 pm

I am really no help whatsoever on this one. :) Oscar's eight and I never did make the leap to have another. Not because I don't really like babies and children and raising children, but because I really, really never came to terms with deciding to run the sorts of risks a subsequent pregnancy presents for someone else. I knew *I'd* be fine -- and my 34 weeker is perfectly fine -- but that's not a great way to figure out how things would go next time, and absent a crystal ball I find that I balk at a subsequent pregnancy.

But that's me, and other people make other decisions that they are comfortable making. And the vast majority of our posters have subsequent pregnancies and very healthy babies. :D Good luck thinking about this!
Science! The articles you don't want to miss:
The Preeclampsia Puzzle (New Yorker) and Silent Struggle: A New Theory of Pregnancy (New York Times)
Looking for recent articles and studies?
A chance to participate in research? For us on Facebook or Twitter?

Caryn, @carynjrogers, who is not a doctor and who talks about science stuff *way* too much
DS Oscar born by emergent C-section at 34 weeks for fetal indicators, due to severe PE
DD Bridget born by C-section after water broke at 39 weeks after a healthy pregnancy

mommy2maddie
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Why must Decisons be so hard to make......

Postby mommy2maddie » Wed Dec 08, 2010 09:04 am

:? I do not know what to do......to have another baby or not. My husband does not particularly want another child but if I want one then he will be okay with that, he wants to get a vasectomy either now or after I have another baby. Our house is small, we have 3 bedrooms so baby would be sharing a small room with a sibling, which we could do if we had to. It is like on one end I cannot imagine never being pregnant again, but then I cannot imagine having to go through PE with two children at home. I cannot imagine never rocking a little baby again, but then I cannot imagine rocking a little baby for hours hoping he or she will fall asleep. I am so torn! Advice much needed!!!
Alissa 23
DH Richard 25
DD Madison Rene 6/2008 29 weeks 4 days 2lbs. 7oz. 45 days NICU Severe PE
DS RJ 10/2009 35 weeks 5lbs. 13oz. 5 days NICU PPROM
Baby #3 Due July 2, 2012


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