Other blood related disorder masked as Pre-E

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jennieexpo
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Re : Other blood related disorder masked as Pre-E

Postby jennieexpo » Sat Oct 02, 2010 11:23 pm

I just got my milk come in today;( I've been crying all day. No one told me my milk could come in. My baby only lived 8weeks 4 days, I don't understand how I can have milk right now?! Also when I got my shower today I noticed I'm losing hair. Hormones I suppose but makes it so hard. Why do I have to have these daily reminders of what I've lost? It hurts so bad. Today was my first really bad day- crying every 5 minutes. I feel I'm mourning not only my baby girl but all the other babies we could have had. Which one of is they would have looked like and the memories that could have been. I'm so angry that there is so much pain- physical and emotional. I'm angry that it's not enough that it's hurts a ton that my baby died but then I had a terrible dnc and now may not have any more of my own and now constant daily reminders! Ugh! No matter where I go or who I talk to the pain remains:(

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kerisue
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Re : Other blood related disorder masked as Pre-E

Postby kerisue » Sat Oct 02, 2010 12:00 am

Baby Eleora, what a beautiful name for her! I remember after my baby died, I had milk for the next week and a half- that was a painful, cruel reminder too. Nothing about this is fair. You'll need time to grieve this baby, but after that maybe you could consider fostering. I know people who foster only infants... and have ended up adopting 1 or 2 of them if they aren't able to go home.

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aajatwins
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Re : Other blood related disorder masked as Pre-E

Postby aajatwins » Fri Oct 01, 2010 03:07 pm

I am again, so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you and I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom or any real insight for you into what you're going through.

All I know to tell you is that laying on your left side helps move that gas that's stuck inside your belly and ease the pain. I don't know what it's like where you live, but adoption through the state in AL is free. It's harder because there aren't as many kids, especially babies, and many of the kids are special needs or sibling groups. But it might be something you could think about after more time has passed.

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jennieexpo
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Re : Other blood related disorder masked as Pre-E

Postby jennieexpo » Fri Oct 01, 2010 07:41 am

Also my uterus and placenta was still growing. They said my uterus was large. The size it would have been carrying a almost 13 week baby. But my baby was the size of an 8 weeker. Dr was concerned about that as well. Still feel some pregnancy symptoms I had before, so hard to be reminded in so many ways what I've lost:( They are doing chromosome testing for gender as well as many others. But since baby died so long ago the odds aren't good they'll find gender. To my hubby and I , in our hearts we truly believe it was a girl so until told otherwise we think of it as our first and only daughter. We even named her. Of course it's not legal binding but to me it makes her more real. Her name is Eleora Lynn Exposito. Her name means light of God which means so much to us. It's so hard. I saw her on the ultrasound weeks ago. I saw her heart flicker. They told me her heart rate was 166. She was real and she was alive. She did exist. I felt like tomb after they told me she was dead. I miss her so much! My hubby wanted this little one so badly:(

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jennieexpo
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Other blood related disorder masked as Pre-E

Postby jennieexpo » Fri Oct 01, 2010 07:30 am

Hey Ladies,
Well I'm home now but in so much physical pain from the laparotomy. And due to the surgery taking 3 hours I keep getting this debilitating back pain and air that's trapped in my belly. That just adds to the pain. I haven't even really been able to grieve yet, it hurts my belly to cry. And thinking about it makes me want to cry but I can't. :(

My dr told me she really thinks I have a blood disorder that masks itself like pre-e but unlike pre-e it can happen any time during pregnancy. Which she feels is my my blood work and etc was already going a-wire this time again. But my baby died so it's still kinda confusing but we have a ton of tests to do yet. Plus see my MFM and a hematologist. The disorder is a big long word ending in thrombosis. Interested to hear your input girls. We're almost certain that we won't be having more children- so many risks besides pre-e related issues. I had so much scar tissue that it looked like I had several csection not just one. Which will make it dangerous in the future if I would get pregnant and they need to get baby out fast in an emergency. They wouldn't be able to get to baby very fast. And my bleeding was outrageous they said-so gotta figure that out. Dr is really worried why a normal dnc turned so dangerous. I feel so torn. I'm afraid the risks are too much to have more babies of our own butwe can't afford adoption right now and my heart aches so badly for a baby but I know adopting babies is very hard. I feel trapped and depressed. And the ain of this recovery is killing me.


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