Adoption???!!

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amanda
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Re : Adoption???!!

Postby amanda » Sun Nov 07, 638923 7:35 pm

Like others have said please, please give yourself time. Stopping the medicine abruptly can cause paralyzing depression - ask someone who knows. It's also possible that your doctor will want to add a medicine to it to help you over this hump. Find someone who *knows* and has experience with pregnancy and medicines - there are many choices out there but not all doctors know about them - I know that for me I had to do research on my own.

As an adoptive mother to my first two children my heart breaks for you and that while adoption is a beautiful option I know that I personally wanted my daughters birth parents to feel like they had thought through every conceivable way of parenting. Your mother sounds wonderful and like she's willing to provide love and support to you - that is such a wonderful thing.

Please feel free to reach out to me directly if you want - I've been there pregnant and depressed and I'll be happy to share what I know.

If it helps right now - I know that when our daughters were placed that they did not work with women until they were after 20 weeks or so and then only if they needed immediate help. The reasons were many but the biggest one was because they wanted to let the shock and initial feelings about the pregnancy subside.

milesymommy
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Re : Adoption???!!

Postby milesymommy » Sun Nov 07, 638923 4:59 pm

((HUGS)). I hope the zoloft brings you to a better place. I echo what everyone else has said - give it time. Many moms raise children on their own just fine. But adoption isn't bad either. My mom got pregnant out of wedlock (of course, eons ago) and gave my half-brother up for adoption. Later she met my dad, married, and had me & my brothers and sisters. She'd like to know what ever happened to her oldest, but her life is also filled with happiness and joy from all of us. Life takes us down many roads - its never a straight road, and you can never see around the bend and over the hill.

dohertyab
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Re : Adoption???!!

Postby dohertyab » Sun Nov 07, 638923 12:25 pm

What a difficult situation you are in. Please give yourself some time. You don't have to make any decisions right now. In several months, please bring up the question again if you're still unsure about what to do.

katznkt
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Re : Adoption???!!

Postby katznkt » Thu Oct 28, 638923 10:15 am

Difficult subject on so many levels. After having my second child.... well I just can't help but think that as much as you love your Naomi, you will grow to love this new baby. Don't know how it is possible, but you will. For everything there is a season, and this too shall pass. You will eventually get your life back on track. It would be a shame to make a decision while depressed that you might regret later. And it would be even more of a shame to let a family know that you had selected them just to change your mind later in the pregnancy as your love for your wee one grows. Hugs in this difficult time, and I hope that counseling and medicine help soon. My husband deals with depression... sometimes it has been horrible... but it does get under control- and then it is wonderful.

naomihope427
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Re : Adoption???!!

Postby naomihope427 » Thu Oct 28, 638923 1:55 am

Thank you again all so much, severe depression is an awful thing too, as it goes in with the grieving of my sweet beautiful Naomi. It hasn't even been a year, it seems like forever since I've held her or seen her. I cried & cried last night wishing I could go back to last year and hold her more often & gave her more kisses & just never let her go. I wish I held her longer after she passed, I couldn't for too long because it hurt so much but I did and I wish I did longer. It kills me. All I did today was sleep in bed all day just like these other days and my mom brought me in food every now & then even though I didn't feel like eating she said "you gotta eat" . My friends try & talk to me but I can't even do that, they don't understand. Im a complete mess =( im hoping tomorrow my ob will prescribe me some medicine if not I have to be taken to the darn hospital and I don't want to go there, its an awful place, a place where I don't belong. =(

I saw your beautiful daughters page, with all the angels, id like to make a page like that & blog, someday soon. I just can't bring myself to do it, nor write much..yet I do on here. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful little girl. It breaks my heart all over again hearing these stories.

keneke68
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Re : Adoption???!!

Postby keneke68 » Thu Oct 28, 638923 1:19 am

Jill,
My heart is just breaking for you. Please try to get into some therapy to talk to someone. Let them try to get you on medication again. Im glad you have your mom to talk with. Let the doctors and therapist help you. Whether it be medication, therapy or both. Discuss all this with them before you make any decisions.

Depression consumes you it clouds your thoughts, feelings, everything around you. I know the pain you are in I walk the same path of depression as you do. I know how hard it is. My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I send you many (((HUGS))) We are all here to support you.

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l412angel
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Re : Adoption???!!

Postby l412angel » Wed Oct 27, 638923 10:28 pm

Yes stopping any depression medication has some serious effects. You have to be weaned off it, so that could have to do with some things your experiencing.

glimmer
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Re : Adoption???!!

Postby glimmer » Wed Oct 27, 638923 6:16 pm

I am sorry you are feeling so bad. I think it would be very good for you to get some professional help. In addition to being depressed you are also still grieving about your loss. It's been less than a year since you lost your child and it's normal that you are still grieving.
It took me more than a year to be functional after a first trimester miscarriage and it must be a lot harder after losing a child due to PE/Hellp. Take the time to be in the right place to make a big decision
whatever it may turn out.

naomihope427
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Re : Adoption???!!

Postby naomihope427 » Wed Oct 27, 638923 6:17 am

Thank you Laura, its the truth I guess, my mom keeps telling me don't fully make that decision just yet, yet I know more than likely where I am headed, but things may change, I just don't know. My mom is going to call up my OB on Monday to see if he can prescribe me something safely, because I desperately need something, I read on side effects of abruptly stopping my medicine late last night and it makes sense to some of the things that's going on, especially my dizziness.

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l412angel
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Re : Adoption???!!

Postby l412angel » Wed Oct 27, 638923 6:02 am

You couldnt have said it better Jill! :)


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