Considering termination

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Re: Considering termination

Post by kaxy » Mon Aug 26, 2013 09:18 pm

Hey, how is it going?

Re: Considering termination

Post by whereowhere » Tue Aug 20, 2013 02:59 pm

jtkdillashaw wrote:I have made another appointment this week with a different Maternal/Fetal Specialist. I will post what advise I get from this one. Thank you all for your encouraging words. You really don't realize how needed they were!


Hi Jenn,
So glad to hear you are going to get another opinion. I just agree with what most of the ladies here are saying that there have been worse pregnancies and rarely does a doctor say pregnancy is toxic to a woman. That just seems like a doctor who is freaked out, and can't handle high risk pregnancies or the thought of them. It may be the doctor themselves is scared because they're afraid they'll get it wrong. There are plenty of women who undergo very high risk pregnancies all the time. Honestly, my instincts just say that just because we may have severe problems and losses with pregnancies at times, does not mean that something that is a natural process for a woman to go through (pregnancy) is toxic. I look forward to hear what the new specialist has to say. I think that talking with a specialist who deals with high risk pregnancies is going to have a different perspective. I really hope you've found a good, positive and encouraging MFM! Let us know!

Re: Considering termination

Post by bsherricca » Tue Aug 20, 2013 12:49 am

I am hoping the new MFM you plan to see will be more encouraging than your current doc. I endorse getting a second opinion ...there are many women on here who have developed PE very very early and gone on to have uneventful pregnancies ...nonetheless its a very scary decision that you are faced with and ultimately only you can decide what is best for your family but i offer a different perspective as someone who has both struggled with fertility issues and someone who was almost aborted ....sometimes fear keeps us from experiencing the best of us (thats how my dad put it when he told me that my mom almost aborted me ) not a nice conversation to have but it was his way of apologizing / rationalizing what they almost did i suppose :) heart goes out to you plz post an update from your MFM visit

Re: Considering termination

Post by MomTimesThree » Tue Aug 20, 2013 02:46 am

I'm so glad to hear it! Keep posted!! :)

This was a really great thread with questions to ask a prospective doctor-

You may want to already have your medical records with you, or have at least the most salient parts of your previous pregnancy's record send to the doctor ahead of time.

Re: Considering termination

Post by jtkdillashaw » Mon Aug 19, 2013 11:37 pm

I have made another appointment this week with a different Maternal/Fetal Specialist. I will post what advise I get from this one. Thank you all for your encouraging words. You really don't realize how needed they were!


Re: Considering termination

Post by jenh » Mon Aug 19, 2013 10:25 pm

If you "want this baby more than anything", then I think you have your answer. I absolutely agree you need a new doctor. There's no guarantee of what might happen, but a good doctor will help you manage the risks to get you the best possible outcome.

Re: Considering termination

Post by princess purr » Mon Aug 19, 2013 05:29 pm

I would totally recommend seeing a different doctor. It is beyond important to eat healthy when pregnant and that means getting enough calcium and protein. Also, I would think/hope they would want to test you for clotting disorders, maybe have you on baby aspirin and lovenox etc. Preeclampsia is very scary, but after having lost a daughter at 26.5 weeks, I can't imagine having to be faced with the choice of terminating a pregnancy. It would give me to many what ifs... what if this time would have been different.. what is this time would have been the little boy etc. It is your choice, but a more knowledgeable doc would be my first step. For my first ultrasound my baby measured 6 weeks (it had been 8 weeks since my last period) they will be going with your u/s date, not your period date because a lot of women have irregular cycles.

Re: Considering termination

Post by angieb » Mon Aug 19, 2013 04:15 am

YIKES, I would get new doctors for sure! It's like you have the blind leading the blind there. I really can't believe an ob/gyn would suggest termination for your history. I mean, it's not great, but I have seen far far worse go on to have healthy subsequent pregnancies.

Re: Considering termination

Post by whereowhere » Mon Aug 19, 2013 03:48 am

Hi, I agree too that you should try to consult with an MFM who is very familiar with PE. I have come to realize that though PE is a very scary disease, and of course very risky, with self monitoring, and monitoring closely by good doctors, they are very able to do something that would at least save your life. I think the risk of losing your life to PE is quite low and though you may be at risk for getting preeclampsia it may show up or it may not.

I was given a 60 % chance of recurrence of PE after my last pregnancy where I lost my dear twins at 21 weeks. They gave me those percentages because I had developed preeclampsia almost the earliest you can develop it. That was a BAD pregnancy for me, and I had an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage before that loss, so it seemed my chances were very low of having a healthy pregnancy. Yet, just as happens with quite a few people on here, I am going on to have had a healthy pregnancy. I have had no signs of preeclampsia! I am 34 and 1/2 weeks and will deliver by C-section in only 17 days. I think what they say about all pregnancies being different can be very true. You compare this pregnancy and my last and they are night and day!

I must say, when you mentioned your baby's heartbeat, my heart just quickened. I would encourage you to allow nature to take it's course and not to try to decide something like termination for your body or for the one you are carrying.

Re: Considering termination

Post by MomTimesThree » Mon Aug 19, 2013 01:26 am

I'm so sorry for the difficult decision you are facing, and the complicated pregnancies you have had in the past.

I would seek a second opinion with a different perinatologist (also known as a Maternal Fetal Medicine Doctor) more familiar with pre-eclampsia, while eating a healthy diet is important for anyone who is pregnant, pre-eclampsia is determined by the placenta, and there is no known diet that can avoid it- if there were we would all be on it and no one would have pre-e! Other moms with more experience in the science behind pre-eclampsia will I'm sure chime in to help explain. You can search MFMs in your area here,

Many parents here have gone on to have healthy, or healthier pregnancies than their previous ones. You are a different patient to your team after having such a complex pregnancy, and are treated differently with many more proactive steps taken. At the same time, only you will know what is right for you and your family- I do think a second opinion is warranted to get a clearer more informed picture of what this pregnancy might look like and what your monitoring and chances of recurrence would be.

Please keep posted when you can.