Preemies of Pre-e Forum

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Re : Preemies of Pre-e Forum

Post by angela demoore » Tue Apr 08, 2003 10:58 pm

Hi to you both!!

Thanks for the suggestion, it's a good one! I've actioned it, so please feel free to go in there and post your thoughts/feelings, you are all so great at offering support to one another, it's a very touching thing for us at the Preeclampsia Foundation to see you all come together like one big family. [:D]


Admin Director/Webmaster
Preeclampsia Foundation
Tel: 425 885 3498

Re : Preemies of Pre-e Forum

Post by care-o-line » Tue Apr 08, 2003 09:25 am


You wrote, "I was such a mess it took me ( and still) trying to come to terms to what happen with me(do to preeclampsia) and how he/we survived." I am also having a hard time thinking about everything. I wanted to share with you something I wrote a couple of weeks ago. I'm guess you might have some of the same feelings and it has really helped me to hear from others. So... here it goes....

It has been 7 months since my 32 weeker was born and I still have times when I cry thinking about everything. I've never considered myself much of an emotional person and I don't think anybody who knows me would think I was. I think about the dissapointing ordeal of my pregnancy. Sometimes I look at my natural bradley method birth plan - ha what a joke. I think about the helpless, pathetic feeling of not being a "real" mother during my daughter's NICU stay where the nurses seemed more like the parents. I feel guilt for not having that warm, fuzzy, attached feeling after her birth that so many people describe. People often say the birth of their first child was the happiest day of their entire lives and honestly, I know this sounds awful, but it was probably the saddest day of my life. I have those attached feelings now, but I have never admitted to anyone that I didn't have them for at least the first day of my daughter's life - even though it might be a common occurance to feel this way considering the circumstances I still feel very guilty. My daughter is an only child and my husband and I want another one but I also cry about that because I fear all the bad things that could have happened. For example, last night when I was in bed I started imagining getting pregnant again and having my child die in the sterileness of the NICU. Another thing that makes it worse is that my birthday is 3 days after my daughter's and I was still in the hospital on my birthday and all I did was cry that day (I didn't tell anyone why - they kept saying it was hormones) because I felt guilty for having had a beautiful, nice, normal birth where my mom could hold me and cuddle me and my daughter didn't get any of that - I wasn't able to see her for 2 days after her birth. I think of how lonely she might have been for 2 days. I have a hard time imagining myself ever being guilt free on my birthday ever again. I got the best while I feel like I gave her the worst. I also feel bad for feeling bad - after all why should I have the right to feel sorry for myself when so many others have been through even harder ordeals. Don't get me wrong I don't cry all the time, just every couple of weeks and it always catches me by surprise. I thought by now - 7 months later- I would feel much better.

Well, I'm glad that your little one is doing well. We just finished the Synagis shots also. I'm glad to have those over with and I'm also very glad to not have to worry so much about getting RSV. I'm surprised that you guys got to have them for 2 seasons - from what I hear from others that's kind of unusual. You said that people make fun of you because they don't understand why you won't take your kid out more and I totally hear you there!! People think my dh and I are obsessive compulsive from all the hand washing LOL!! But... my ds has NEVER had a cold (knock on wood) so it has paid off!! Now, I'm a lot more relaxed cause RSV season is almost over.

Have you ever had an early intervention screen on your little one?? Do you have any concerns?? I'm a little worried 'cause my ds isn't babbling yet... she coos but doesn't babble - everyone tells me not to worry, but I can't help it.

Caroline - 26
dh - 24
dd Sylvia 8/21/02- 32weeks- 3lbs,5oz- pre-e

Re : Preemies of Pre-e Forum

Post by natan » Mon Apr 07, 2003 03:07 pm

Hi Care-o-line

That is a great idea. My son was born 2 lbs 5 oz. at 31 weeks. I was so greatful that the hospital that my son was born had very high technology to help him survive. Natan was on a breathing machine for twelve hours before he could breath on his own.

I was such a mess it took me ( and still) trying to come to terms to what happen with me(do to preeclampsia) and how he/we survived. It was such a blessing that everything turned out ok.

He is doing great now at 20 month. Still having trouble walking independently (almost there) and we have to be careful about keeping him away from sick children. People make fun of me because they don't understand why I still have not joined a Gymboree class and/or big moms group. We just finished our second winter season of (not sure how it spells) "Synages shots". (Shots to help protect preemies from winter flus and colds.

Again, this was a great idea.

Preemies of Pre-e Forum

Post by care-o-line » Mon Apr 07, 2003 11:28 am

What do you think of having a forum for parents who had preemies (5 1/2 lbs or less) due to pre-e?

Caroline - 26
dh - 24
dd Sylvia 8/21/02- 32weeks- 3lbs,5oz- pre-e